


The Future in Your Smile

by Justagirlonthefloor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Eren Yeager, Character Death, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Levi Ackerman, Protective Mikasa Ackerman, Slow Burn, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:48:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justagirlonthefloor/pseuds/Justagirlonthefloor
Summary: In a post-apocalyptic world, Eren Yeager waits, hiding in his armoire, for the intruders to find him and kill him, or worse, leave him for the zombies outside.  Instead, they bring him back with them.Through the ups and downs of an apocalyptic world, Eren and Levi find something worth fighting for in each other, and no matter the consequences, refuse to let go.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 4
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

Eren stayed silent until the knocking at his door stopped, he heard the muffled voices of the group outside discuss their options, and he shrunk deeper into his hiding place. He was familiar with this hiding spot, an old armoire, though the winter coats once stored there had long since been replaced with rations. His mother had stashed them when the government was still active enough to be giving out food. They were financially well off enough to not need them, but in her own words: "If something were to happen to me, this food is for you!" He hadn't expected to actually need it, but now the supply was running low, even with Armin and Mikasa bringing him food from their runs. As the voices grew fainter outside, Eren released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Too soon.

With a bang and a crash, he heard the door fly open. Fear seized him and for a moment it felt like his body shut down. Who were these people to make so much careless noise? Zombies aren't deaf, they hunt by sound! It was all Eren could do to silence his breathing and cross his fingers. In the end though, it didn't matter if they found him, now, with the door broken, if these people didn't kill him, the zombies would. Either way he was doomed. He listened nervously as the intruders ransacked his home, he heard them dig through what sounded like the pantry, but that had long since been emptied, there were grumbles of disappointment and heavy footsteps passed back and forth in front of his wardrobe.

Then he heard a voice, and his blood ran cold. "Has anyone checked this one yet?" it asked, it was a man's voice. there were some mumbles of disagreement, but no one seemed overly interested one way or another, already giving up on finding anything worthwhile. Eren curled in on himself, burying his head in his knees, and slowly, the old wooden door creaked open. He curled tighter in fruitless hopes that he would just disappear, but instead he was just in the armoire, surrounded by the last of his food. "What the-" The voice was clearer now, and the stale air of the closet rushed out and was replaced with the cool air of outside.

Eren didn't move.

"Well... I found the food..." There were whoops of celebration, but they were cut off as the man kept speaking. "Levi, you're gonna want to come here." Eren still refused to look up. Softer footsteps came towards him, they were nothing like the heavy clunking boots of the person who had discovered him, but somehow just as terrifying. Eren could tell just from the pace of their strides, this person carried themselves with authority, and from the stagnant silence of the room, each other person was waiting for their decision. The footsteps stopped, and Eren could feel as the two intruders undoubtedly stared down at him in contemplation.  
"Jean, what am I looking at right now?" The new person asked, and Eren knew it was rhetorical, but the demand in this new voice, low and authoritative, made him flinch, and against his better judgement, uncurl himself slightly from his ball on the floor. He lifted his head slowly in the direction of the intruders.

He heard a gasp, but it sounded like it came from the first man, and Eren knew why. He dropped his head away from the men, more aware of his weakness now than he ever had been before. He knew that his face took a moment to get used to, he had sat on his bed and touched the scars etched around his eyes and down his cheeks enough times to know they weren't supposed to be there, he remembered what he used to look like and could only imagine how much worse it was now. "What's your name kid?" The second man's voice rang through the silence.  
"Eren." he answered, hating how strangled it was.  
"You're by yourself?" Eren nodded, his fingers digging tightly into his biceps as he remembered the screams of his mother, muffled through the armoire door. "For how long?"  
"About six months..." his voice was sounding stronger now, sounding less like a sniveling child. "I have friends that check on me." he continued, hoping that the threat of backup may spare his life. There was a moment of shocked silence, then a voice Eren would always recognize called through the room, dark and angry.  
“EREN!” Mikasa yelled, and he shot to his feet clumsily, Jean’s, the man who had found Eren, hand shot to the blade on his hip, but Levi’s outstretched hand paused him, Eren’s pose wasn’t a defensive one, but a desperate one. Mikasa barreled through the doorway, glaring at the scouts around her. “Levi, lay one finger on him and I’ll kill you!” She growled, and Levi just rolled his eyes as he turned to her.  
“Jesus Christ, I’m not killing the blind kid.” Eren stood dumbfounded at their interaction, halfway out of the closet.

Armin joined Mikasa’s side a moment later, panting in his efforts to keep up. He didn’t waste time glaring or yelling, but slid right through the group, towards Eren, announcing himself calmly before reaching out to grab his hands. “Eren, don’t worry, we’ll figure this out and explain everything.” Eren followed obediently as Armin led him to where Mikasa was standing.  
“I thought you said you would be checking the southern side today?” She asked coldly. Levi sighed.  
“We were making good time, and supplies is all but picked over, so we expanded the search. Didn’t realize you were housing a lost boy.” She grit her teeth, Eren wanted to scream and ask what was happening, but the fear of thinking he was going to die hadn’t fully dissipated, so he stayed quiet. It was Armin, as usual, who was the common sense in the situation.  
“Mikasa calm down, it’s best if we just explain things, Eren deserves to know what’s going on, and we’ve been with them,” Armin gestured to the small group standing confusedly around them, “long enough to know they don’t mindlessly hurt people.” Armin led Eren to a chair and sat him down. Eren had long since memorized the layout of his own house, but in this instance, he didn’t mind the extra guidance.  
“Please explain what the hell is happening!” He finally insisted, finding his voice as the tension eased.  
“Levi and a few others rolled into town about a month ago,” Mikasa started. “Food was getting harder and harder to find, and we knew you were running low already, so when we ran into them, they were looking for warm bodies, and we thought being with a bigger crowd would give make finding supplies easier, so we joined them, and would slip away to bring you any extra we could snag.” Levi’s brow twitched at the admission, but he stayed silent. Eren’s face crumpled as her words hit him.  
“Y-you’ve been with a group for a month?” He stuttered out, and Armin sucked in a breath, meeting eyes with Mikasa’s, wide with realization.  
“You have to understand Eren, we didn’t know them well, we couldn’t trust them yet!” She rushed on, but tears were already streaming down his face.  
“I’ve been alone for months! I’ve been by myself in the dark for days on end with no one to talk to! I don’t care if you couldn’t trust them, I’ve been sitting here waiting for the day when you and Armin didn’t come back! And I would never know why, never know what happened! And you met people, you got to talk to other people, and you let me stay here alone?” He sobbed, not caring that a room full of who-knew-how-many people were watching him, the relief and heartbreak, and months of suffering hit all at once and his whole body shook with rage or sorrow. Suddenly he was wrapped in warmth and instinctively leaned into it, recognizing it as Armin and Mikasa, and as much as he wanted to be angry, he craved the comfort of human warmth, which was few and far between now days.  
“I’m sorry Eren!” Armin sounded like he was crying too, as he sniveled into Eren’s hair. “We thought it was safest at the time, I can’t imagine how painful it must have been by yourself all that time!”

Levi sighed; these kids were so dramatic. “All three of you stop your crying. We’ll just take him with us, and the food of course. You guys can work out your issues back at camp.” He gestured for the group to start packing any supplies and food they could fit and made his way to the sniffling trio, kneeling in front of the new boy, as Mikasa and Armin hesitantly let go. “Eren, my name is Levi, you can meet the rest of the group once we’re at the base, but I need some information before you come back with us.” Mikasa began to growl in displeasure, protesting his terms and conditions, but Eren waved her down.  
“What do you need to know?” He asked, steadying his voice.  
“How old are you?”  
“Nineteen.”  
“Any skills?”  
“…Cooking?” Levi rolled his eyes, and Eren sensed he said something wrong. “But I’m willing to do anything! I can learn whatever you need me too!” The older man sighed.  
“We’ll put you to work.” A beat. “Where’s your family?” It was a loaded question, and Levi knew it. Most people now days couldn’t answer happily, and he already knew Eren was by himself when they found him. He stiffened.  
“My dad left when I was a kid and… uh,”  
“Spit it out.” The people around them were wrapping up and Levi really didn’t what to be off the farm longer than necessary.  
“My mom got bit six months ago! The door hadn’t latched, and one got inside. She killed it, but it got her, so she left before she could turn too… I was… I,” his voice got caught in his throat as he tried to choke out the rest of the sentence.  
“You were in that closet?” Eren stopped, wide eyes unfocused on the floor, and he nodded slowly. Levi felt bad for asking, but the amount of exposure he had faced was important to know.  
“No bites?” Eren nodded numbly.  
“You can check.” He offered, and Levi did a quick once over, but he had none of the symptoms, and they usually hit pretty quick.

Without another word, Levi stood and took Eren’s wrists, gentler than expected, and pulled him up. “We’re headed out, it’s a hell of a walk, so keep up.” And as an afterthought he added, glaring pointedly at Mikasa, “And stay quiet.” She glared back, but said nothing as she followed them from the home.

Eren wanted to say goodbye to the house he grew up in, but at the same time, he couldn’t bear to stay there another minute, so he let Levi lead him from what he knew was the front door, past where he thought he remembered the white picket fence, and into the world he hadn’t stepped foot into in so long.

The walk wasn't easy, but it should have been. Eren had always been athletic, he was great at track and ran the nature trails around his neighborhood regularly back when he had a guide dog, but he didn't have that dog anymore, and his mother didn't have the money to get him another after his dad left, still, he had memorized the track course around the field and won medals in sprinting in high school, now though, an hour and a half in and he was panting. Armin had remembered to grab his cane before they left and had given it to him early on knowing how much Eren hated having to be dragged around, but now he wished someone would drag him just to keep his feet moving. He didn't complain though, just hoped no one would notice him slowing down. He focused on counting the footsteps he heard. he knew of at least 4 people, Armin and Mikasa of course, and Levi and the person called Jean, but it sounded like more when they were in the house. Now though, even in the relative quiet, it was hard to distinguish between the footsteps, at least two more pairs were walking with them though, though he couldn't tell who's was who’s. Introductions really would have to wait until they were wherever they were heading.

It was a while longer before people started coming to a stop around him, when Eren’s cane tapped lightly against someone’s shoe he paused. He could hear the telltale groaning of the undead off to one side, and sucked in a breath. “Why are we stopped?” He whispered, knuckles whitening around his cane.  
“You’re not deaf too, are you?’ Levi breathed out, closer than Eren expected, he had thought the person walking so close to him was Armin, or more likely, Mikasa, but now that didn’t seem to be the case.  
“No… I was just hoping it wouldn’t be for the reason I’m hearing.” He was sure his voice had never been so quiet, wasn’t even positive Levi could hear him, but he didn’t want to take any chances. Eren, himself, had never interacted with a zombie, he’d heard them, heard of them, and heard firsthand the damage they could cause, but he had always been a coward’s distance away, Now, with no closet door between him and the danger, he felt his throat constrict and his mouth dry up in fear. He felt a tap on his shoulder.  
“Just stay here.” Then the presence beside him was gone, and the world around him seemed to jump into action, but he was being pulled from the noise by familiar fingers.  
“This way Eren, things could get a little messy, so it’s better if we’re out of the way!” Armin urged, and tugging him low to the ground. “We’re behind a car right now.”  
“You don’t need to help them?” Armin chuckled slightly.  
“No, I’d only get in the way. They bring me with them for medical cases, and because Mikasa insists.” He paused a moment to study Eren’s concerned features. “Don’t worry, Levi is really strong, and it’s almost like Mikasa was born for this stuff, she’s a natural. They’ll take those things out easily.” Eren nodded, but his multitude of shortcomings for survival were becoming clearer by the second.

Armin was right of course, and the team made quick work of the zombies, not even a scratch from what Eren gathered from the discussion happening around him. Mikasa had called them out as soon as the last one was cut down, she had checked over them for scrapes, but Eren had shrugged her off and Armin insisted that it was his job to check her for wounds, and eventually she caved. While they bickered, Levi approached Eren.  
“We’re only a bit farther, can you make it?” He nodded. Levi grunted in response. "Don't fall behind." He growled and Eren took it to heart, keeping his pace up as much as possible for the remainder of the hike.  
It was a long remainder.  
The walk wasn't fun, and Eren was positive the blisters on his feet had blisters, and he didn't even want to think about how sore he'd be in the morning, but just as he was sure his feet would start falling off, Levi stuck a hand out in front of him and spoke for the first time since they'd started again. "We're here. Watch your step, the stairs are steep." Eren reached to his side, where he knew Mikasa was standing and gripped her shoulder as she guided him up, counting the stairs with each step. Once he was up the stairs he could tell from the sound of the footsteps around him they were on a wooden deck. In fact, their "base" was a quaint two-story farmhouse, well maintained and isolated, just a few miles outside of town. It was surrounded by open field and a pasture that looked like it once housed a horse, long dead or escaped. A large barn sat near the pasture fence, that they had reverted to food and supplies storage, and the beginnings of gardens were scattered around different parts of the yard. At the edge of the tree line was a shallow river that fed into a pond in the corner of the property. To Eren though, the air just smelled fresh, far different from the stale, iron rich air of the city.

"You'll talk to Erwin first, ultimately whether or not you stay is up to him." Levi explained, but after consideration, and noticing the way the color drained from Eren's face, and Mikasa's expression darkened, he continued on. "He's got a hell of a savior complex, your chances are good." He offered, and it wasn't a lie, Erwin had a soft spot for every lost kid they stumbled across. Levi liked to think he'd be a more practical leader, but he respected the elder more than he'd care to admit, and far too much to challenge Erwin's leadership. he may have been a softie, but he planned through every decision he made, weighed the pros and cons, and carried the weight of those consequences silently.

In short, Eren may not have been a huge asset, but he wasn't a horrible hindrance either, he knew when to shut up, and could keep up with the group with minimal guidance. Though he'd never admit it, Levi already liked him.

During their talk, Eren learned Erwin was a stern man, whose main goal was the survival of his little community, he was focused and unconcerned with irrelevance. He also seemed to have made up his mind about Eren before he even introduced himself. One look at the young man and he had practically opened the house to him. After that it was mostly just rules and explaining their situation a bit. The whole thing took no more than ten minutes.

"I'll call the others in and introduce you to them, there's not many of us, so it won't take long to get to know them." Erwin barely raised his voice as he called people in, and a flood of footsteps filed through the door. Erwin chuckled at Eren's confusion, expecting it to take a minute to gather everyone. "I had a feeling they were all gathered at the door. Like I said, there's not many of us so new news gets around quick." Eren nodded, an awkward smile growing on his lips. "Is there any specific way you'd like to meet them?" Eren shook his head.  
"Uh, I guess just introduce yourself so I can recognize your voice." He offered. There was a pause until someone spoke up, Eren recognized that voice already as Jean. It was gruff and stiff.  
"I'm Jean! I was the one who found you!" Eren already knew that, but he nodded anyway.  
"I'm Sasha! I was also there." A girl this time, and it sounded like she was talking around food in her mouth. Eren would learn later that this is a common occurrence for her.  
"I'm Connie, I'm also a runner!" Erwin had explained some people are runners, the people who went out to gather supplies.  
"Reiner." It was a lower voice now, more serious.  
"I'm hanji, I'm the medic! If you'd like I can take a look at your eyes!" ‘Tactless,’ Eren thought, and flinched at her words.  
"Ah no, I'm okay, the doctors said there was nothing they could do."  
"The doctors were bound by law! I'm sure I could figure out an experimental treatment!" Hanji insisted, and that twisted Eren's gut in the worst way.  
"Please don't..." He mumbled, and there was a cough from beside him. Levi? Or it could have been Erwin, either way it was appreciated.  
"I'm Miche, I work with Hanji." He sounded saner at least, until Eren felt someone step alarmingly close and take a couple sniffs. He stepped back so suddenly he tripped over his own feet and almost landed on his ass until a pair of hands caught his shoulders and cursed lowly.  
"Christ Miche, back off." Levi growled, and Miche apologized while Hanji laughed.  
"He likes to smell people, but don't worry about it, he doesn't really mean anything by it I think, it's just a quirk of his." Eren nodded shakily, and felt Levi brush his shoulder.  
"Thank you," He mumbled to the man, but just got a hum in response. The introductions continued, there was a woman named Annie, who seemed sterner and more serious than even Levi, a couple named Historia and Ymir, and an older man named Pixis, who the house belonged to, and started the trend of taking lost people in by offering his home to Erwin and Levi in the first few months of the apocalypse. When introductions were over, and Eren introduced himself back to them, Erwin spoke again.  
"Alright Eren, Armin and Mikasa can show you around and explain everything in more detail. When you're done, bring him back here and we'll figure out how to put him to work." The two nodded and Mikasa took Eren's hand, leading him from the room, as the others dissipated with them.

Eren was lead around the house first, then they took him around the yard, talking and catching him up on the last month of their lives. Thinking clearer, Eren understood why they hadn't introduced him to this group sooner, but a little, bitter part of him remained and resented them for leaving him alone for so long. At the end of the tour, they brought him back to Erwin, and he grilled Eren a bit about what he could and couldn't do, where he would feel comfortable and uncomfortable, and found a place for him in the garden, which Eren really didn't mind.

That night, Eren was put in Levi’s room, on the floor with a sleeping bag. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss his bed, but being surrounded by people made the hard floor worth it. Mikasa had protested, insisting he should be with her and Armin, until Erwin pointed out they already shared a room with Connie, and Levi had the most floor space. She seemed hesitant, but finally agreed.

After a modest dinner, but far more than Eren had allowed himself in weeks, people split off to do their own thing, Eren was going to follow Mikasa in whatever she was doing, until he felt a tap at his shoulder. “We left most of your stuff at your place, but we have some spares you might fit into. Come with me.” Levi offered; well, more like insisted, but Eren thought the man was softer than he let on. That thought was shut down when Levi noticed his small smile. “Don’t get any ideas, if you’re going to be in my room, you’re not going to stink it up by wearing dirty clothes. We also have wash bins we use to bathe ourselves, but your girlfriend,” Eren knew he was talking about Mikasa. “Can help you with that.” Eren groaned. He loved Mikasa, and he knew she only wanted to help, but he really hated being mothered. He didn’t like it when his own mother tried, and he especially hated it when his friends tried.  
“She’s not my girlfriend.” He mumbled, and Levi smirked and quirked a brow.  
“Hm?”  
“She’s not my girlfriend!” Eren insisted. “I love her, but… but not like that.” His disgust must have shown on his face because Levi chuckled, and Eren’s heart sped up. “Don’t laugh at me…” Levi said nothing, but something told Eren he was still smirking.

He was honestly relieved that Levi was a normal person, his tone had been so stiff and short since he met him, but now, while still stiff and short, he sounded more human, almost like someone Eren’s age, if they had been forced to grow up too quickly. That got the newest member thinking. “How old are you?” Levi thought a moment before answering.  
“What month is it now?” Eren had no idea, but the air was getting chillier, so all he could think was October or November.  
“October?” He guessed, and Levi thought some more.  
“October already huh?” Eren shrugged. He really had no idea. “I’ll turn twenty-four on Christmas.” Eren was right. He was around is age.  
“How do you know Erwin?”  
“We worked together.”  
“What was your job before everything?” Levi tsked.  
“So damn talkative.”  
Eren stopped asking. Annoying his new roommate on his first day was not a good plan. Levi stopped though, and Eren stopped a moment later after not hearing the second pair of footprints follow his.  
“We’re at the barn, it's where we keep most the supplies we find on runs, but it has some old clothes and hygiene supplies too.

Heavy doors creaked open and Levi took his hand to guide him in. “Watch your step, there’s a ledge at the door.” It wasn’t lost on Eren how naturally good at guiding him he was, most sighted people forgot to mention stuff like that, or talked to much about every little bump in the path. Levi had a good balance. In the silence, he counted the steps he took until he was stopped once again. “This is where the clothes are. I’m just gonna throw stuff at you that looks like it might fit, it’s not going to be fashionable.” Eren laughed, and Levi couldn’t help but stare a moment.  
“Not like I would know.” Eren wheezed, and Levi felt self-conscious for a moment at his slip up.  
“Whatever, just take what I hand you, if it doesn’t fit your girlfriend can dress you tomorrow.” Eren pouted, but grabbed the first piece of fabric that was shoved into his hands. This continued for a few minutes, and from the rustling that could be heard, Eren thought Levi might have been taking more time to select his clothes than he let on.  
“Alright, those are the pieces I think will fit you. I grabbed you a toothbrush, unopened don’t worry.” With that, they left the barn.

As soon as he stepped out of the doorway, Eren once again started counting his steps. “What are you doing?”  
“Counting my steps, so I can come back without help.” Eren heard that familiar hum, and figured the conversation was over. He resumed his counting until they were on the porch, counting the stairs they walked up too, and noting the number difference from the front stairs. Before Levi could open the door though, Eren caught his shoulder.  
“Could you help me… with the rest of the house?”  
“What?”  
“I need to count the rest of the house, at least the main rooms, but to do that, I need somebody to tell me which rooms are which.”  
“You didn’t do this with Mikasa earlier?” Eren shook his head, but started to lose his resolve the more irritated Levi seemed at the obligation.  
“She gets overly ambitious to help and it can get annoy- ah, overwhelming.” He offered, and Levi sighed, giving in.  
“Fine, but this better not take too long.”


	2. Chapter 2

It amazed Eren how quickly time flew by when he had people around and things to do, and he slipped into the ragtag group of survivors easily, falling into a petty rivalry with Jean, who had an obvious crush on Mikasa and couldn't seem to comprehend the fact that Eren didn't, he, Pixis, and Historia worked around the house while the others were on runs, and Eren made good on his claim that he could cook, though it took some time getting used to cooking over a fire, not a stove. After his first meal for the group though, it was easy to recruit different people every day to help him find ingredients and tend the fire while he cooked. All in all, while he was out and about, days were bright, but it wasn't long after he arrived at the farm, that the supply shortage in town was getting more extreme, and the zombies weren't the only danger the runners faced when out.

Their first interaction with another group had been amicable, right up until it wasn't. The ensuing fight resulted in Connie getting a knife to the thigh. Armin had done his job well as the road medic, but the group still had o tcome home early. Dinner had been scarce that night. The filling meals Eren had known when he first arrived dwindled in size, and with winter rolling around, successful crops were fewer and farther between.

Eren went to bed in an empty room for the 3rd or 4th time that week, and the silence was ominous. The air started feeling thick and stale like the air of the armoire, and the silence was deafening. It closed in around him and suddenly it was like he was surrounded by that food again, locked in an armoire waiting for death. He tossed and turned in his makeshift bed, trying everything to escape that claustrophobic feeling suffocating him, but to no avail. He hadn’t felt like this sense he came here, but the feelings were all too familiar from those months after his mother’s death. The panic gripped at his lungs and weighed down on his shoulders until he was hunched into a ball like the one he would sit in in his armoire, his mother’s final screams and sobs ricocheting around his head, blocking out any other senses. That night he fell asleep curled against the wall in an empty room, struggling for each breath until exhaustion took him out.

Levi had nearly tripped over him when he got home, exhausted and ready to pass out. He cursed under his breath as he hopped over the sleeping boy, too tired to question why he wasn’t in his bed and far too dark to notice tear-stained cheeks.

Each trip to the city one or two runners would swap out for a break, on their days off they would help Eren in the garden or, more commonly as of late, sleep the day away, except for Levi. He would go out on each run. Every other day or so, he’d get up before the sun rose and drag the others out of bed, and they wouldn’t be back until long after the sun set, usually emptier handed than they would have liked, and more often than not, bloody from an interaction with another group, Hanji and Armin began switching off on medical runs, because the demand for treatment got so high they couldn’t risk Armin being so exhausted he made a mistake. Hanji didn’t seem to mind though, as her excitement at catching a zombie for research had been the main reason they didn’t take her on runs in the first place. “Hanji, seriously, if you put any of us in danger to satisfy your freak curiosity I’ll leave you in a second.” Eren had overheard Levi tell her, in an exasperated tone. She had waved him off, but so far, she must have taken his words to heart, because even on the days she came home with zombie remains, it was never at the detriment of the team.

Eren worried the toll all this took on Levi’s body, but said nothing, convinced that his worry was rooted in his own selfishness to not be alone at night, as the panic attacks and nightmares grew more frequent. They had grown closer, Eren was probably closer to Levi than anyone else around the house, except for Armin and Mikasa of course, and found himself going to the older man even when he didn’t need to. Their interactions became less and less frequent though, as Levi was away for longer periods of time and more exhausted when he wasn’t. Things Eren used to come to him for, he started reaching out to the others, afraid of causing any more stress than he had to, and mostly just hoping Levi would take his free time to sleep and eat. The older man seemed to notice the distance though, and Eren had learned early on he was never one for beating around the bush. “Why have you been avoiding me?” He had noticed and been dwelling on it more than he’d care to admit, but watching as Eren called Pixis or Jean to help him find a tool he needed for the garden, or help him look for supplies in the shed had pissed Levi off for a reason he didn’t really understand.

Eren stiffened, his shirt halfway off as he got ready for bed. He knew Levi was probably in bed with a book in his hand already, but Eren had gotten last shift at the wash bin so it was a bit later than usual. “I’m not avoiding you.” He insisted, but heard Levi scoff.  
“You’re the blind one here Eren, not me.”  
“Low blow.”  
“So answer the question.” Banter like this between them wasn’t unusual, in fact Eren appreciated the candor he got from Levi, as everyone else walked on eggshells around him, Levi never hesitated to assume that Eren could handle a task he needed done, or a verbal jab the same way he spoke to the others, and Eren swelled with pride when he was able to prove him right.  
“I did. I’m not avoiding you.” He insisted, continuing to take off his shirt and plop down on his makeshift bed on the floor, unaware how Levi’s eyes flitted from their place on the page to study Eren’s figure. Guilt gripped the man’s heart though, as he noticed how his ribs poked out and his wrists looked thin enough to easily wrap his fingers around.

Runners got more rations than those who didn’t go out, and while it made sense, looking at Eren’s lithe frame now, he couldn’t help but feel like he was stealing something from the kid. “Are you hungry?” Eren shrugged nonchalantly, he had grown used to the relative emptiness in his stomach, and his body had grown accustomed to functioning on a calorie deficit.  
“Aren’t we all?” Levi wasn’t, Eren had cooked dinner and insisted he made enough for the runners to get seconds, so Levi had. They let the conversation hang in the air a moment, before the raven went back to his book, and focused on the words on the page instead of the nagging in his mind. “I’m really not avoiding you though, you know, you just are out so much, I don’t want to bother you with petty tasks when you should be resting.” Eren said after a few minutes, he had curled up in his sleeping bag and closed his eyes. Levi was about to respond but he continued before the other man got the chance. “You should go to sleep, I can tell you still have a candle burning to read.” Levi tsked, but closed his book and blew out the candle.  
“I forgot you can see light.” Eren chuckled and rolled over.

The next day had been a resounding success for the runners, not because they had found a secret stash of supplies, but because Sasha and Connie had finally gotten a car they had been working on started, and with a hose to funnel some gas from another nearby vehicle, they were good as gold. For weeks, things started to feel like they used to, and Levi watched with underserving pride as their group put healthy weight back on. The towns farther out had more left over to pick from, and the car made travelling farther quicker and more accessible. Connie and Sasha had talked about it for weeks after that, gleaming with pride, and even Erwin entertained their egos, congratulating them on a job well done. For most of November and December, things felt easy again, and even the biting cold couldn’t bring down their spirits.

It was Christmas day that things went wrong. Eren had asked Armin a while back to help him follow the months, it was primarily for gardening, and knowing which seasons were best for which plants, but a little part of him remembered Levi’s birthday was Christmas, and while he knew the stern man wouldn’t want a party (not that they really had the supplies to be throwing one anyway), Eren wanted to do something, he really liked birthdays, they reminded him of his mother, and even during some of their darkest moments, she insisted on celebrating his birthday. That afternoon, Eren started his dinner prep, it was what he had gathered Levi liked the most, nothing grand or fancy, but slightly more than usual, and a sweetbread he had memorized from before everything. It was Christmas too, so even if Levi wanted to throw a fit about anything, Eren would just say he was celebrating Christmas. It was a foolproof plan.

It was until Jean, shouting his presence loud enough to startle Eren to the point of cutting himself on the knife he was using, grabbed him roughly by the arm and dragged him up the stairs stumbling and confused. Finally, at the top, Eren yanked himself violently from his grip, still holding the knife. “What the hell Jean?! You could have seriously hurt someone! What the hell are you doing?” Jean was out of breath but fought to grab Eren again as the boy struggled away from him.  
“Damnit Eren, I’m trying to help you! There’s a horde outside, and they’re getting closer fast, we’re going to run to town to grab the others, but just stay hidden, we’re gonna come back for you!" Panic seized Eren and he gripped the knife tighter in one hand, reaching wildly for Jean with the other.  
"Please don't leave me! Please take me with you, I don't want to be alone when they get here!"  
"You won't be alone, Pixis and Historia are staying with you, you'll be fine and we'll be back to get you, okay, it's just safer for us- er if you just stay here!" Eren’s eyes went wide at Jean’s slip up, but didn't argue any more. Jean led him quickly into Levi’s and his room, which had an attached closet that was mostly empty. "Pixis will be here soon, everything will be fine!" There was a beat as Jean studied his tear-stained face before gritting his teeth. “Listen, we'll be back for you as soon as we can! I promise!" Jean ran out, and Eren stood there stunned a few moments until he heard Pixis's footsteps come up the stairs.  
"Eren?” The older man called out, and Eren called back.  
"I'm here!" His voice was shaky again, but Pixis heard him and appeared in the doorway. Eren could hear the calming smile on his voice as he spoke.  
"Historia is just locking up and grabbing some weapons, she'll be here in a moment, don't be scared son." His words did calm him some, but there was still that dreaded feeling that all this would end the same way his mother did.

All three of them locked themselves inside the small room. Eren sat on the bed, hugging a pillow, he knew that Levi would be pissed if he found out Eren had been touching his stuff, but in smelled like him, and with each deep breath Eren felt his nerves calming. He squeezed the pillow tighter. For forty-five minutes the house and farm were eerily silent, even the birds and bunnies had fled, and Eren thought they were substantially smarter for it. His mind wondered to the ingredients he had prepared, still laid out on the counter, his sweetbread was probably nearly done rising.

A low buzz of shuffling and groaning could suddenly be heard in the distance, and Eren’s whole body tensed.

They were well into town when the split groups met each other, Erwin and Jean leading the way with their group from the farm, Ymir, Annie and Reiner, while Levi, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, and Connie pulled up beside them in the car. A scowl etched onto Levi’s face, confusion on the rests’. “Why are you here?” He asked, but a sense of unease filled him when he saw the exhaustion and desperation on their faces.  
“Oh thank God we found you!” Jean exclaimed, but Erwin silenced him with a wave of his hand.  
“There’s a horde coming near the farm, it’s big and moving fast, we need to leave.” Levi narrowed his eyes at the group of five.  
“Where’s the others?” He asked slowly, and Erwin shook his head. “They would only slow us down, we need to save as many of ourselves as possible, it’d be far more dangerous to bring them with us.” Erwin stated, matter-of-factly, but the kids behind them looked shocked at the admission.  
“No! No, you told us we were getting back up!” Ymir shouted, thinking desperately of Historia locked alone in that farmhouse. “I told her we would come back for her, I told her I’d come back!” Tears filled her eyes, and Annie had to hold her to keep her from jumping Erwin herself, her expression was darker than it had ever been before. Jean’s jaw dropped open, imagining back to Eren’s panic when he was told they were leaving, how afraid he was and now, Jean realized, how right he was to be.  
“You liar…” He growled, “You Goddamned LIAR!” Erwin didn’t blink at the anger of his team, and Levi could tell he thought he was doing the right thing, but he couldn’t help the rage that boiled in his veins as he thought back Eren in a ball in the armoire, waiting for death. The idea of him doing it all over again, this time with no one to find him, made his blood run cold.  
“We’re going back.” Levi said flatly, noting how Mikasa and Armin were already halfway out of the car to run back to the farm if need be. “Get back in the car you two, we’re going back for them.” They obeyed but Mikasa expression was dark.  
“We need to go now.” She insisted, but Levi shook his head for a moment.  
“Whoever wants to go with Erwin can go, you can wait out the horde here, and if we’re not back by tomorrow, feel free to leave.” He thought a moment, and glared at Erwin. “Or leave sooner than that, hell if I care. But if you want to help the others,” There was a tremble of rage in his voice. “Get in the car, because I’m going back for them.”

In split seconds everyone made up their mind, Sasha and Connie made eye contact and nodded solemnly, staying in their seats, Jean and Ymir hopped in the trunk of the car without a second thought. Only Erwin, Reiner and Annie stayed away, Erwin’s face grave as the gravity of his decision weighed on him. With tired eyes, he looked at Levi. “It’s already too late.” He murmured, Annie stood beside him, face expressionless.

Levi didn’t respond, kicking the car into gear and speeding down the road, far faster than they had ever pushed this clunker before, but his foot didn’t leave the gas pedal. They hit the first zombies about halfway down the dirt road to the farm, literally. Levi plowed through a group of three or four and swerved to narrowly miss a slightly larger group that appeared behind them. The farther down the road they got, the denser the undead became, latching onto their car until they were dragged off it. The wheels spun over zombie guts and by power of sheer will alone, they made it to the house without the car dying under weight of the undead, but the new vehicle was drawing the attention of others. They had breached the farmhouse and Levi’s heart sank, he swore if Eren was dead, someone else would be too, by his own hand. “It’s now or never, we take back the house and hold out until they pass… some of you may die, it’d be safer to just stay in the car, and no one would blame you, but you came all the way here, you might as well see it through to the end.” No one spoke, Mikasa watched the farmhouse anxiously, her fingers hovering over the door handle. “Everyone armed?” They all nodded, brandishing their weapons. Levi and Mikasa and Jean were the only ones with guns. Connie wielded a baseball bat, Ymir, a cross bow, and Armin and Sasha clung desperately to their respective hatchets. Studying these kids, ready and prepared to die any second, Levi thought that maybe Erwin was right, that getting the able-bodied people out at the expense of the handicapped, was the best option, but he also realized not a single one of these kids would forgive themselves if they did nothing, that much was clear as each gripped their gear tighter, jaws set.

“Three… two…” Levi waited for a relative gap in the horde… “ONE!” They sprung to action, car doors swinging open, knocking zombies aside as each kid sprinted towards the open front door. Levi slammed it all the way open, hustling the others in, shooting down the ones that followed until the last of them had made it through, before slamming it shut and sliding the nearest chair under the door handle to substitute for the broken lock. “You all secure the other openings, I don’t care what you have to do, just make sure none of the dead bastards get through. Mikasa, help me look for the others.” She nodded and the team jumped into action. The house was emptier than the outside, but that didn’t mean much, and there wasn’t so much as a minute gone by without the tell-tale scream and shout and thunk of a fallen body, hopefully one already dead, but Levi didn’t allow himself to dwell on the possibilities.

He and Mikasa split once they got upstairs, she took the left wing, he the right one, upstairs was even emptier still, with just a few shamblers walking around, which both of them took out with relative ease. That was when Levi heard the rhythmic thumping in his room, far too loose to be the intentional knock of a human, but far too consistent to not be important. He slid down the hallway, holstering his gun and handling his knife with intention, back to the wall. He peaked around the ajar door of his room and his fingers went numb from his grip on the knife handle. Thudding against the closet door, was Pixis, eyes empty and large chunks taken from his neck and face. Blood the consistency of syrup dripped down his side and puddled on the hard wood floor. Levi wanted to throw up, but he hoped to God on high there was something- someone, alive behind that closet door. He slipped through the open door, wincing as it creaked, and silently walked up to Pixis, his heart clinching at the sight of the lively old man so lifeless.

It only took a second to jam his knife through the old man’s skull, but it took several for him to crumple to the floor. Levi wasted no time in closing and locking the door, to prevent any other unwelcome guests, before listening through the closet door. Behind the door were quiet sobs and harsh breathing. It was like his heart started beating all over again as relief crashed over him. He knocked gently at the door and heard the person inside scramble farther away. “It’s me. Eren are you in there?” He kept his voice low, but Eren should have been able to hear it. He did.  
“Levi?” The voice was quiet and cracked, it sounded almost half zombie itself, but it was definitely Eren’s.  
“I’m coming in!” Levi announced, opening the door suddenly, to reveal a sight he hated. Eren sat in the corner of the closet, huddled in on himself, blood dripping from the gaps in where his fingers were closed around the handle of a kitchen knife, arms outstretched in front of him. His cheeks were tear stained and his sightless eyes were wide in panic. His whole body shook, and in that moment he looked more like a feral animal than a human.  
“Levi?” He croaked again, the knife drooping in his hands.  
“It’s me.” Levi rushed forward, easily disarming the knife and dropping to his knees in front of the frightened man, his whimpers echoed in the closet.  
“We’re all here, we came back for you.” Eren’s faced cracked in pain.  
“There’s no one left!” He insisted, eyes filling with new tears before they even had time to release the old. “No one’s left! I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything.” Levi steeled himself against the pain of losing two members, blocking out the grief to focus solely on Eren.  
"Eren it's fine, you did well. Were you bit?" There were things they had to do, protocol to follow before he allowed his feelings to show. Relief could wait until there was real evidence everything would be okay. Eren shook his head slowly.  
"You can check..." He offered weakly, and it reminded Levi of the day they met, but somehow, he looked even more pathetic.  
"You're bleeding..." The older man stated, watching the blood drip from his fingertips warily.  
"It's from the knife, when Pixis... he… when he pushed me..." Eren got that look on his face, the vacant one he always got when he was left to his darkest thoughts or memories. The one he got when talking about his mom.  
"Eren, stay with me, I need you to tell me what happened so we can make sure you're not infected."  
"After Historia went down to block the window, some of them came up here... it... it’s knock sounded human, so we thought she was back, but it got him as soon as he opened the door. He-he-he had the knife, and he gave it to me and it cut me, I grabbed the blade on accident and it cut me... and he pushed me in here and I stayed... like a coward I didn't do anything!" Angry tears dripped down his face. Levi’s heart tugged at the sight of the broken boy.  
“It’s good you did, if you hadn’t we would have just lost you too. Stay here, the rest of us are reclaiming the farmhouse, I’ll come get you when it’s done.”

The way Eren shot to his feet, eyes wide and desperate, Levi was shocked, he had never seen the younger man move so quick. “No! No, don’t leave me alone again, please, please don’t! I’ll do anything to help, I can’t be alone.” His breathing was picking up and his whole body trembled. Levi studied him a moment, knowing in his state he’d be more of hazard than a help.  
“No, you need to stay here, it’ll be fine, I’ll come and get you as soon as it’s safe.” He was stern in his tone, but Eren’s shaking sobs threatened his resolve. He reached for Levi, clinging to any shirt or skin he could grasp, the fear in his eyes made him hard to look at, and Levi had to avert his gaze as he shoved the terrified man off of him, sending him falling to the floor. He could hear the zombies outside getting drawn to their commotion, and knew he had to wrap this up quick.  
“Damnit Eren, you’ll only get people killed if you go down there, shut up and stay here, or I’ll tie you to the goddamn bed!”

The panic paused, but somehow the quiet was worse, so Levi took his chance and slammed the closet door with Eren inside, sliding a chair underneath the handle in case he tried to escape.

As he left, he tried not to think about the damage his words had done, or how scared Eren was to be alone, how he wasn’t the type to ask for unnecessary things or purposely cause trouble, so whatever reasoning he had to act out like that was severe, and he tried not to think about how much it felt like he was abandoning the boy in his biggest time of need.

He tried very hard not think about any of that, and instead, steeled himself against the wave of zombies he knew were just outside the door.

He signaled down Mikasa when he got out, a trail of zombies in his wake, and she ran to him. “Eren?”  
“He’s fine, we need to be downstairs.” She nodded and he was relieved at the lack of attitude for once. They fought their way to the first floor, where the chaos had been mostly contained now to the undead left in the house, no more intruding from the outdoors. Mikasa rushed to Armin’s side without a word as he swatted wildly at the two cornering him, and Levi found his own position with Connie and Sasha.

For the first time sense they got there, things seemed to be going smoothly, the numbers were dwindling and no one had gotten infected yet, and the chaos of battle was almost enough to keep Levi’s mind off the sobbing boy upstairs. They were winning, for once is this stupid apocalyptic world they were winning as much as they could be, and the final few zombies were dropping like flies.

Then Ymir froze.

Her crossbow back up had been crucial, so they noticed immediately when the arrows stopped raining down from behind them. “Ymir! What’s the issue?” Levi shouted, glancing behind himself at the sound of the bow clattering against the floor.  
“Ymir?” Connie asked, taking a breath after knocking the head of a zombie in, but she was silent as she took a shaky step forward. They watched in terror as one lunged for her, but Mikasa acted faster, whipping her pistol around and shooting it down.  
“YMIR! Pick up the fucking crossbow and help us!” Jean screamed, batting a homerun at a zombie’s skull. Then Levi saw it, he followed her gaze and landed on the petite blonde girl. She could almost pass for living if not for the subtle grey tone of her skin and blood caked in her hair. “Ymir, stop, she’s gone, focus on the living…” It clicked for the others and Sasha’s eyes filled with tears.  
“Historia?” She asked, but Levi sent her a warning.  
“Focus Sasha, stay focused.” She nodded and wiped her eyes, swinging her hatchet again. With the fire of Levi’s gun, only one more zombie remained in the house, the little blonde one that shuffled closer with each groan. He leveled his gun at her head. “Move Ymir.”

The young woman turned for a moment, hard eyes making contact with his. “If you shoot her I’ll kill you.” She threatened, her voice and glare steady, but so was his.  
“I’ll kill you both if it means saving the life of everyone else here.”  
“Levi-“ Sasha started, but Connie grabbed her arm and shook his head. She bit her lip but silenced herself.  
“That’s not Historia anymore, don’t die for an empty carcass.”  
“It has her face. I did this to her…”  
“You didn’t, Erwin lied to you.” Historia reached lazily and Ymir caught her wrists, holding her an arm’s length away.  
“Ymir let go of her! We don’t know enough about how this spreads.”  
“I left her… I did this!” She sobbed, her head dropping enough for a moment, just long enough for Levi to have a clear shot. He took it.

The scream lasted longer than the echo of the gunshot, but Levi didn’t flinch when she lunged at him, Connie and Jean jumped to his defense, held her back as she screamed and struggled against them. “I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you in your sleep, I’ll make every goddamn night and day a living hell for you!” She sobbed, spit flying, and her eyes crazed with despair. And Levi took it, he let her scream, cry, and fight, let her yell profanities, and threaten his life, because he deserved it, but they were alive, and Eren was alive, so he had done his job.

Eren.

He shot into action, sprinting up the stairs, past the fallen corpses, and into the room he had locked Eren away in. Mikasa and Armin must have caught his drift because they followed behind him immediately, and shoved passed him to get to the closet door, ripping away the chair and yanking it open. Levi hung back, suddenly the haunting image of Eren’s fear was stuck in his mind, and he couldn’t bring himself to move forward or call his name. Mikasa had no such hesitation. She rushed to him, Armin following her lead, and wrapped his quaking form in her arms, combing back his hair, whispering assurances into his ear, and Levi was disgusted at the jealously that ripped through him. He stayed silent.

Eren was unresponsive, alive but checked out. When his friends lifted him to his feet he merely followed instructions, but took no initiative to move on his own. Levi stepped to the side to let them through.

Back down the stairs, Ymir had been restrained, and sat in devastated silence. Connie was trying to comfort Sasha, but was failing to hold back his own sniffles, Jean jumped up to help Armin and Mikasa situate Eren. As he did, he looked at Levi. “Pixis?” Levi simply shook his head, and Sasha shook harder.  
“Where’s Hanji and Miche? They weren’t with you when you found us.” Jean shook his head.  
“We couldn’t find them before the horde hit, they had gone into the woods to look for more research subjects,” ‘Zombies’ thought Levi. “So hopefully they were able to hide or escape.” Levi nodded, Hanji was too crazy and too smart to not have figured something out, and they were probably armed. Their chances were decent.

Outside, the horde was already thinning. “We’ll wait for it to pass, then burn the bodies and sanitize everything. Try not to touch anything until we do…” He paused and eyed Ymir, remembering how she had grabbed Historia’s bloody hands. “And keep an eye out for her, if she starts showing symptoms…” He let his sentence fade, but the implications were clear.

Armin started with Eren’s hand, doing his best to dress and wrap it with the limited supplies he had on him, then he moved to check the others, while Mikasa tried to provoke a response out of her friend.

That night went by slowly, most of them didn’t sleep, and those who did woke up unrested and frightened.

It wasn’t until sunrise the next morning that the last stragglers of the horde passed, and wearing makeshift protective gear, they started pulling corpses from the house and into an ever-growing pile out front. About halfway through, Hanji stumbled from the tree line, almost looking undead herself, but as she called out to them, she confirmed she wasn’t. Levi met her halfway, quickly sliding under her arm to keep her upright as they limped back to the house. As Armin tended to her wounds, she explained what happened.

“We were out looking for zombie, but when we started heading back we saw a huge group of them headed out way, we looked for folks but they had already gotten into the house, we thought you had all already evacuated,” she looked at Eren with a pained expression. “Miche and I ran back to the trees and tried to hide, I managed to get up a tree, but he couldn’t climb it, I tried to pull him up, but we both ended up falling.” She paused for a breath. “There wasn’t enough time, before I knew what he was doing he hoisted me up, and I started climbing, I expected him to keep trying to follow me, but he just waited at the bottom as they came. They completely ignored me, and I got to the top… He took out as many as he could but… with those numbers it was impossible.” She finished quietly, staring at her hands folded in her lap. Levi studied her wounds, one eye was glued shut with puss and blood, her glasses were gone but assumedly broken, and her ankle was swollen up to the size of a balloon, Armin confirmed it was probably just a sprain, but she wouldn’t be able to walk for a while, and there was still too much to do for Levi to mourn the dead. He ruffled her hair gently in an uncharacteristically soft moment.  
“I’m glad you’re alive, Hanji.” She looked up, eye glazed over with tears, and nodded, smiling weakly in a way that didn’t feel like her.  
“You too.”

The day ended with a massive bonfire that reeked of burning bodies, sending black smoke high into the air. No one could bare to look at it, and all the windows that did still close, were shut tight. Levi thought briefly about his promise to go back for Erwin and the others in town, but taking a look around the room of kids half dead and traumatized, he didn’t trust himself not to kill on sight. He had been with Erwin since the beginning, since everything went to shit, Erwin and he had been together, but now? He looked at Eren, hunched over and leaning into Mikasa slightly in a restless sleep. Now so much more mattered that he wasn’t willing to sacrifice for pure survival.

A few days passed and life seemed to start coming back into the house finally, they started on another run, though Levi was hesitant to leave, he forced Mikasa to stay as the second stronger fighter they had. Ymir was showing no signs of infection, though she wondered the house in a daze, only half aware of her surroundings at any time, and Eren threw himself into every project he could, an almost unhinged desperation to keep his mind and focus busy. He talked like everything was fine, but at nights where it was just him and Levi getting ready for bed, he was silent, and Levi knew something was broken, and he was responsible for breaking it. Eren had lost something. Looking at him now, it felt strangely like looking into a mirror, a shattered mirror, with pieces missing, but the image was complete enough, and it made Levi angry.

The run went uneventfully, though the damage of the horde was clear, and the lack of competing groups was evidence of the amount of loss everyone was nursing. The entire time, Levi wanted nothing more than to go back to the farmhouse, but he kept his mind focused on the task at hand. As he thought, Erwin and the others were gone or dead, and something other than rage tugged at his heart with that realization.

Hanji had sent them with a list of medications she needed, but they could only manage to find some of the basics and a new pair of glasses for her. The garden was dead and picked over, they’d have to get by on scraps until at least February or March, so food would be tight. Picking up the pieces of the disaster felt fruitless, and Levi couldn’t help the daunting feeling that they were just waiting for it to all happen over again. He did not share these concerns with the group.

They returned just after sunset, where Eren appeared in the headlights hunched over in the garden despite the cold. “Bring this stuff to the barn, and get the medicine to Hanji.” Levi instructed, as he approached the man in the garden.  
“What are you doing? It’s freezing out here.” Eren didn’t acknowledge him, and Levi couldn’t help the surge of irritation that exploded through him. “If you’re mad at me, just spit it out, we don’t have time to be petty.” He knew his words were harsh, and that Eren’s anger was entirely justified, but he had never been good at holding his tongue. When he had something to say he said it. Eren brushed the soil from his hands on his jeans.  
“I’m not mad.”  
“Could’ve fooled me. The silent treatment is just for attention then.” He bit out, tired of all this beating around the bush.  
“I have no reason to be mad at you, right?”  
“Bullshit and we both know it. I was horrible to you.”  
“I know why you said it. You weren’t wrong.”  
“Doesn’t make it right, doesn’t mean you’re not angry.” Eren snapped.  
“Jesus Christ Levi! Do you want me to be pissed?” Levi smirked, relieved at the most conversation he had gotten out of Eren in days, but it still felt wrong.  
“I want you to be something, everything is a balance, and I can’t have people in this group not communicating and starting issues, that includes you and me.”

Eren stood, scowling into the darkness for a moment. “Yes! Yes I’m mad, I’m pissed! I hate the zombies, I hate you for saying those things to me, and I hate myself because they’re true! I hate all of them for leaving me, and I hate that I can’t be left alone! I hate Historia and Pixis for dying! I hate everything that’s happening, and I hate how utterly useless I am to stop it!” He shouted, tears filling his eyes, but refusing to let them fall. Levi stood there, this is what he had wanted, but hearing it hurt so much more than he thought it would, but Eren wasn’t done, the others had noticed the commotion and steered clear, but Levi could tell the nosier of the group were listening in. “But I really, really do hate you.” He knew it was true, but God hearing it sucked the air from his lungs and made him feel like his chest was collapsing. Eren must have realized his voice was echoing around the farm because he dropped his tone and took a step in Levi’s direction. “Because in that moment, upstairs, when I was terrified,” His voice dropped again, and the water reflecting in his eyes lit up the sightless green orbs in a way Levi found beautiful. He took another step forward. “In that moment, I didn’t care if the house collapsed around us, I didn’t care that being with you would mean the deaths of so many other people that I care about, I wanted you to stay with me, despite all of the death I knew would happen if you did, and I hate what that says about me.” His voice cracked and the tears finally slipped out.

Levi was stunned. Silent.

“If you hadn’t locked me in that room, I would have killed someone.” Eren whispered, his expression steeling. “I can’t do anything to help in those situations, just existing puts everyone else in danger. None of you should have come back, you should have stayed with Erwin, because I’m not worth risking it for.” They were silent, the pain in Eren’s eyes had been hidden once again by this cold expression, and the sense of staring into the cracked mirror hit so suddenly he felt like he had lost a fight to Connie’s bat.  
“Shut up.” He said, and Eren laughed hollowly. That bat struck again. “We wouldn’t have come back for you if we believed that.” His smile was painful, never had Levi wished Eren would smile less, but this one sent spikes through his gut and made his stomach nauseous.  
“You don’t have to believe something for it to be true.” He took a breath. “Just fucking run next time.”

The smack rang louder in Levi’s head than any gunshot. He hadn’t expected to punch him, his fist had just moved on its own, but the contact had been sickeningly satisfying. Eren was on the ground now, Levi hadn’t seen him fall, but he knew it wasn’t his own blood on his knuckles. The younger man groaned in pain and Levi stared down at him, the rage that had overtaken him faded suddenly, but his intentions clung to him until he made his message clear. “You don’t get to decide what I consider worth risking.”  
In ten minutes, after he had gotten Armin to tend to Eren’s nose, which luckily wasn’t broken, and Eren’s words had lingered in his mind, marinated in pools of his own self-loathing, he’d find the emotional depth to feel guilty, but at that exact moment, he just felt calm.

When he sent Armin to help Eren, Mikasa had practically jumped him on his way to the wash bin. “I’ll kill you if you ever touch him again.” She growled, and Levi couldn’t help but agree with her.  
“If you think you could, you’re welcome to try.” He snarled back. He couldn’t believe what he had done, but hearing Eren say those things, something told him Eren wouldn’t listen to words. The ache in his fist was a painful reminder of his abuse though. That night, Eren slept in Mikasa’s room, whether that was his decision or her’s, Levi figured it was probably for the best either way.

He didn’t really see Eren for three days after the incident. With one run right after another, he left before the others woke, and came back after they went to bed, at some point though, Eren had found his way back to Levi’s room.


	3. Chapter 3

The nightmares and panic attacks were getting worse, he couldn’t lay his head down without his breath constricting and his echoes rattling his skull. In an empty room, his heavy breaths felt deafening, but in a full one, the air itself was thick and stagnant, and each rattle of his lungs made him think they would wake up and interrogate him. So each night, lulled to sleep by his own wheezing, Eren curled into a ball and went limp against the wall, and each night after getting home, Levi would situate the younger on his nest of blankets until he stopped shivering. 

Even when Levi stopped going on the runs each day, he and Eren avoided each other, it was annoying, but he couldn’t imagine the other wanting his company, and he wasn’t known for his conversational skills on a good day. Hanji was getting annoyingly persistent about their interaction that night, but it felt secret. It felt like something Levi couldn’t share, and, judging by Mikasa and Armin’s confusion, Eren had decided the same thing. It was a conversation meant just for them, and a selfish part of Levi clung to that as some sort of false evidence of hope for their future.

On his off days, beyond sleeping in, Levi didn’t know what to do with himself. Today felt even worse somehow. He scrubbed his room clean, careful to put everything exactly back in its place so as not to confuse Eren, then he moved to the rest of the house, the barn, reorganized their supplies for the umpteenth time that week, and by then it was roughly midday. He was exhausted, but his body refused to let him rest. “Hanji, do you need anything?” He asked, deciding that at the very least she could send him on some weird mission for a zombie pet. She rounded on him with a smile from where she sat dissecting a dismembered arm, he grimaced when he noticed, but said nothing, he was about to play enabler to her odd obsession anyway, couldn’t quite judge now.  
“Yes! I want one, a moving one!” She insisted, uncovered eye glimmering, and Levi flinched at how correct he had been about her request.   
“Hanji…” He sighed, but the gleam in her eye didn’t fade as she shot from her seat.   
“No I’ve got it all figured out! I had Jean make me a cage, a system to catch and transport it, just think of all the knowledge we could gain! All I need is you to find me one!” She shoved a long stick into his hands, with an adjustable loop and hook on one end. “Just use this to catch them and guide it back to me, I’d do it myself but…” She gestured to her tightly wrapped foot and the walking stick she was currently using to limp around. Levi sighed and shook his head in defeat.   
“Fine… If I get bit I’m coming back specifically for you.” Hanji cackled.   
“Don’t tease me!”

The zombie hunt took longer than expected, things had been quiet since the horde, but it shouldn’t have taken him two hours just to find a decent specimen, everything around the farm had been half gutted or missing limbs, and honestly, he had nothing better to do than search for a whole one. When he did finally get it, it took the rest of the afternoon to wrestle it all the way back to the house, and into Hanji’s cave. She couldn’t contain her excitement, jumping to her feet and crying out in pain when her ankle buckled underneath her, her smile didn’t vanish long though, and once she had grappled for her walking stick and forced herself back up, she had joined Levi, where he was shoving the snapping and clawing thing into the cage. “Damnit Hanji, this was more trouble than its worth!” He growled out as she slammed the cage door shut as he held the thing back with the makeshift zombie catcher. The sun was already set and he knew dinner would have already been picked over. She laughed and whipped her free hand on her shirt after she locked the cage shut.   
“You won’t be saying that when I find out how it’s spread!”  
“If you find out…”  
“You have such little faith in me? I was a top-notch scientist before all this!” Levi scoffed.  
“A mad intern more like.” She pouted and crossed her arms, but his words hadn’t actually hurt her feelings, Levi wasn’t sure she really had them in the same way the rest of them did. She ushered him off once his job was done, desperate to get some alone time with her new research subject. Levi wondered how long it’d take for her to name it.

As he thought, dinner was over, and most of them had gone their separate ways despite still being relatively early in the night. When he strolled into the kitchen to search for any leftovers, Eren was packing them up. He paused when he heard Levi’s footsteps. “I made sure to save you and Hanji some. Though I had to fight Jean for the last of it.” Eren chuckled, turning around, and handing a bowl over, which Levi took gratefully. It was still warm.   
“Thank you.” Eren nodded and went back to packing Hanji’s away in an old tubber ware. “She probably won’t be in for a while.” Levi stated, remembering, rather unfondly, the hungry smile she wore as he left her to her zombie. Eren laughed and shrugged.   
“I’ll bring it out to her in a bit if it gets too late.” Levi hmmed, and took a few bites.  
“I say let her go hungry, she’ll sniff it down after a while anyway.”   
“She’s not a dog, Levi.”   
“With the way she chases down those old bones outside? I wouldn’t be so sure.” Eren’s smile grew, and suddenly all the weight Levi had been carrying with him for a week seemed to lift off his shoulders. It felt like how it used to be.

Eren stayed with him while he finished the small bowl of food, the younger man mainly carried the conversation, but in all honesty, Levi had just missed his voice. “You were out a while today for your day off.”  
“Yeah, Hanji sent me out to find her a zombie test subject with the task to bring it back alive. It took longer than expected.” Eren’s eyes widened in shock or worry.  
“And you did it?” Levi shrugged.  
“It was that or reorganize the barn for the second time today. That thing is disgusting.”   
“You could have been bit!”  
“I weighed the risks, they weren’t high.” Eren scowled.  
“Any interaction with those things is a high risk.” He insisted, and while Levi knew he was right, he refrained from reminding him that just living as they do now is high risk, and he’s dealt with far worse than just one measly zombie in the past month alone.   
“There’s no point fretting over it now, what’s done is done, and no one got hurt.” Eren didn’t seem convinced, but let it go. “If you want to wash up, I’ll bring Hanji her food, the dog probably doesn’t even realize she’s getting hungry.” He stood, bowl in hand and walked to the kitchen, to grab hers, significantly cooler now. Eren protested slightly, but a yawn cut him off and Levi thought that he looked exhausted once he studied him for a bit. “Get some rest, you look like shit.”  
“Gee thanks…” Eren responded with a small smile. Levi ruffled his hair as he walked by the still seated man, on his way to Hanji’s workstation, a small shed behind the house. “Don’t overwork yourself.” He called behind him, and Eren hummed tiredly in response. He didn’t have the heart to tell Levi that it wasn’t his work that made him exhausted, but the panic attacks and night terrors that came with sleep. Despite that, Eren grabbed his cane and made his way to the wash bin to freshen up, preparing himself for the bitter cold water. Neither of them brought up their fight, but both felt calmer at the fact that the waters seemed to have settled, and aside from Mikasa’s death glares, no grudges were held. 

Levi was right about his prediction that Hanji was hungrier than she realized, as soon as he entered her shed she smelled the food and rounded on him. “I forgot about dinner!” She exclaimed excitedly, abandoning her current experiment to rush for the bowl.   
“Eren figured you would, so he saved you some.” Levi deadpanned, and her eye teared up with joy.  
“He’s an angel!” She snatched the bowl and seemed halfway done before Levi could blink. “Cold but delicious, tell him I love him!”  
“No.” She pouted but moved on quickly.  
“The experiments are going well, I’ve deduced that zombies rot quicker than the normal dead, and though they seem to bleed shortly after death, there is no blood pumping through their body, how they stay standing is a mystery I intend to solve!” The information was probably valuable from a scientific standpoint, though Levi failed to see how this new knowledge made killing them easier.   
“Just don’t stay out here all night, you’ll freeze to death.” She cackled but made no promises. After a final loathsome eye at the groaning creature in its cage, he left with a quiet goodbye, unsure if Hanji had even realized he was leaving.

He washed himself in the river that night, despite the cold, disgusted by the dirt and grime he found against his skin and under his nails, forcing himself to dunk his head underwater and get any grime from his hair as well. The trek back to the warm house wearing his still dirty clothes, where he had hung clean clothes by their fire, was miserable, but the cold air was worth the fresh feeling of his skin, oils and dirt rushed away by the current. Grabbing his clothes and heading up to his room, the house was silent. He must have spent more time in the river than he thought, as everyone was gone from the common area, likely fast asleep by now. He intended to enter his room in silence to ensure he didn’t wake a potentially sleeping Eren. The concern it seemed was unwarranted, as Eren was wide-eyed and wide awake, and immediately Levi knew something was wrong. Eren sat in the dark room, Levi could see the young man shivering. “Eren?” The man jumped, which surprised Levi, since he usually knew he was coming just by the sound of his footsteps. Levi dropped to his knee too get a better look, warm clothes tossed to his bed, and wet hair forgotten. “Eren, hey, listen to me.” He reached out to him gently, touching his arm long enough to feel icy skin, before Eren recoiled at the contact. His breaths were wheezes, his chest rose and fell rapidly but it seemed as though no air was getting in. “Eren, listen to my voice, you need to calm your breathing.” He urged calmly, he had seen and experienced enough panic attacks in his life to know this was one, and prayed he knew how to calm it down. “find something that grounds you, a sensation that feels familiar, and match my breathing.” Eren’s watery eyes gleamed in the candlelight, but he nodded, shakily leaning against the wall and pulling his knees to his chest tightly, in that position he was so familiar with. Lead buried itself in Levi’s stomach as he recognized the fetal position, the position he had stumbled over so many nights after runs, that position, tight and heavy against the wall, making Eren look like he was back in that armoire all over again, squeezed between a wall and the last rations of food. Levi’s breath almost got caught in his throat, but he pushed through it and kept his breathing deep and steady for Eren to follow. His mind swirled with all the times Eren must have gone through this alone, tried to count the number of times he had shifted the shivering man back into bed, none the wiser to why he was like that in the first place. Now he knew, and the relief he had been swimming in since their conversation came crumbling down. The breathing method was working slowly, but his trembling was ceaseless, and his skin was still cold despite the sheen of sweat across his forehead and chest. “Eren we need to get you warm, can you stand.” He was focused on his breathing, trying to keep each breath steady through hiccupping sobs. Trembling hands pulled his knees impossibly closer to his chest. Clearly the answer was no. Levi sighed, trying to figure out how to best handle the situation. His clothes and hair were wet, he doubted touching Eren like this would give boy much comfort. Quickly, while Eren seemed focused on calming his sobs, Levi stood and grabbed his clean shirt from the bed, stripping his old one and sliding the warm one over his head, before using the old one to sop the excess water from his hair, before rushing back to Eren’s side, who’s shivering had picked back up in his absence. “I’m going to pick you up, okay.” Reaching forward, he rested a calloused hand on Eren’s arm, waiting patiently for his reaction. When he didn’t try to escape it, Levi moved closer, gently coaxing him from his tight ball so that he could slide a hand under the boy’s knees and the other around his shoulders. Eren, despite himself, leaned into the warmth, hands clinging tightly to Levi’s shirt, faced pressed tightly into his neck, hot breath puffing onto his collar bone. 

With a grunt, Levi hoisted him into the air, taken back a bit by how light he was, though he figured it shouldn’t have surprised him, considering how scarce food had been lately, but it was still worrying. He settled Eren on the bed gently, pulling back the sheets for the other to crawl under, but Eren refused to let go of him. “Eren, get under the sheets, you’re freezing.” But he shook his head vehemently, gripping Levi closer.   
“You’re going to leave again.” He whimpered, nuzzling deeper when Levi paused his movements.  
“What are you talking about Eren, no one’s leaving.”  
“They always do…” A wet spot formed on his shirt from Eren’s tears, but Levi couldn’t bring himself to be mad.  
“Hey, Eren.” He lowered his voice and pulled Eren closer, combing a relaxing hand through the sweat matted hair. “Listen to me, I’m not leaving, not now, and not ever.”  
“You already did!” His voice was muffled by the shirt, but Levi heard every broken word, and his guilt caused him to grip the boy closer.   
“I know, and I’m sorry, and I can’t promise you that I’ll always be there exactly when you need me, but I can promise that I’ll always come back. I always come back.” Eren sniffled but nodded hesitantly, not budging from his place nestled against the older man. Levi noticed in relief that his shivering had decreased has his breathing evened out, it looked like he had worn himself out, and Levi wondered if this was nearly a nightly routine for him now. 

Easier to maneuver now, Levi guided the tired Eren under the covers, hesitantly taking his place next to him. The hesitation was unnecessary apparently though, because Eren latched back onto him as soon as he situated himself, and anyone else would have been shoved off, but now he just pulled the exhausted man closer, resuming the gentle strokes through his hair until he too was lulled to sleep by the sound of Eren’s now steady breaths. They’d talk in the morning, for now, rest was the most important.

When Levi woke up that morning, to the first glimpses of the sun shining through the window, he had forgotten momentarily about the night’s events. Until a tingle started running down his arm, from his shoulder to his fingertips, and the unfamiliar weight against his chest registered in his mind. He almost jerked but, just in time, he recognized the mop of brown hair and tan skin. With a sigh of relief, he relaxed back into the pillow beneath him, gritting his teeth as the feeling of needles in his arm grew more intense. Eren shuffled in his sleep, adjusting his weight enough for Levi to lift his arm and restart blood flow to his fingers. He studied the young man for a moment. Where Levi had the sheets pulled down to his lower chest, probably to unconsciously accommodate Eren’s place on his chest, Eren had kept them all pulled up to his chin, protecting his bare skin from the chilly morning air. He looked so peaceful like that, and Levi couldn’t bring himself to mind the arm wrapped loosely around his torso or the way their legs were tangled together. 

Eren’s face was peaceful, but there was an ever-present knit between his brows that was probably equally from nightmares and stress, but not even the arched scars trailing to his temples and down his cheeks could ruin his pretty face. Dark eyelashes caught the morning sun and his curved nosed nestled deeper into Levi’s chest. The older man couldn’t help the way his heart swelled, and he hated it, knowing all too well it would end as soon as Eren woke, and even if it didn’t, it could only make things more complicated.

He stiffened as Eren began squirming more now and lifted his head slowly before resting it back on Levi’s chest, before shooting upright, wide-eyed. “Levi!” He was blushing brightly, and Levi groaned as he sat up, he was always so hyper, couldn’t even enjoy one peaceful moment.   
“That’s my name.” The blush rushed down his neck and his shoulders turned a similar shade of pink as his cheeks, and Levi took a moment to appreciate the chest of the man in front of him, but tore his eyes away, feeling guilty.   
“Oh God, I’m sorry, you must’ve been uncomfortable!” Levi thought back to his tingling arm, which was fading finally, but judging on Eren’s reaction it was best not to bring that up at the moment.  
“It was fine, Eren. I would have moved you if I felt uncomfortable.” His fingers twitched. Eren’s blush didn’t fade, but his face relaxed a bit.  
“Are you sure?” Levi sighed and ruffled his hair.  
“I’m sure.” He stretched, but kept an eye on Eren, as he processed what was happening.

“So last night…”   
“We should talk about that.” Levi answered calmly, and Eren stiffened.  
“Do we need to?” He frowned and it was honestly tempting to give in, but if they were going to figure out Eren’s situation, they needed to talk through it.  
“Yes. That sort of thing is dangerous Eren.”  
“Everything is dangerous!” Levi scowled. ‘This kid.’  
“You know damn well what I mean.” And Eren’s pout turned into a physically pained expression.  
“It just happens at night! Mostly when I’m alone, it’s fine!” He insisted, which made Levi’s heart wrench.  
“These things aren’t consistent, it just happens at night for now, but what about if there’s another horde and we have to run. What will you do then?” Eren stayed silent and Levi realized his mistake a second too late, but his scowl deepened, and he took the other man by the shoulders, leaning inward. “If it happened, I’d drag you with us, we’re not leaving you again.” Levi growled out, and Eren opened his mouth to protest, but he wasn’t done. “But ideally, it’s a situation we want to avoid. Right Eren?” Eren, stunned to silence, nodded dumbly, and Levi released his shoulders. “So spill.”

And Eren did, he spilled everything, through blubbering and tears, but they weren’t scary like last night’s. He didn’t seem lost or disconnected, just the opposite actually, for the first time since his mother died he was really focusing on everything, and once he got going he couldn’t stop. He stumbled through every detail of his time alone, the way every knock and bump in the night sent him cowering in the armoire so much so that he hated it, but didn’t know what to do with himself when he was scared and it wasn’t there anymore. He talked about realizing just how useless he was during the first walk back to the base, the day he met them all, listening from behind a car as they fought gnashing jaws and rotten flesh. Then he talked about the day of the horde, how he knew the moment Jean told him they were leaving, what Erwin had planned, and how he couldn’t blame the man one bit. He shivered as he remembered the first audible groans from the horde and how somehow, however unwillingly, it would end the same way his mother did, with him locked away and everyone else dead. He talked about how he had had panic attacks before, how he was used to the tight chest and rattling breaths, and how he was enough of a burden without making the others’ worry, so he stayed in Levi’s room, because he was never home. He went on about their fight, how being punched had made him feel like an equal (Levi’s stomach twisted), but he knew his existence was little more than buying time for the inevitable. 

With each fresh tear, the two found themselves moving closer, until Eren’s arms were wrapped tightly around the older man’s small waist, fingers digging almost painfully into his shoulder blades, and Levi had his head cradled safely into the crook of his neck. He shook and repeated the last part quietly. “I’m not cut out for this, I’m not gonna last…” He whimpered, and that distance Levi had worried about maintaining when he woke up snapped. He buried his nose into Eren’s hair and hugged him tighter.   
“I’m going to make damn sure that’s not true. If you think for a second, you get to just check out and leave the rest of us of us out here by ourselves, you clearly have no grasp on your current situation.” He pulled back hesitantly and cradled his face, wiping a thumb over his cheek and catching a stray tear. “You don’t get to make that decision. What makes you think for a second, that it was up to you?” Eren sniffled, and Levi studied him, and logically, he was an ugly crier. His eyes were puffy, nose and cheeks inflamed and blotchy, his raggedy bangs stuck to his forehead with beaded sweat, and Levi hoped to God that wasn’t snot, but somehow, he couldn’t be disgusted by it at all. Somehow, he wanted to be closer to that gross, wet, splotchy face, hold it and kiss away each tear and comb through each sweaty strand of hair. He settled for running his thumb back and forth over the other man’s cheek. It was nowhere near as good. He cracked a smile, that he knew Eren couldn’t see. “Besides, what would we do without your cooking? You have no idea the type of slop we were eating before we found you. That alone is reason enough to keep coming back for you, no matter how many zombies there are.” Eren cracked a shaky smile and leaned into his palm, and Levi thought he was the most handsome man he had ever seen.

They lied back down after a while, facing each other. Eren closed his eyes, Levi didn’t even want to blink in fear of missing any flutter of his eyelash, or twitch of his nose. “Can I touch your face? I want to ‘see’ you.” Eren asked after a moment of quiet, he never seemed to be able to stand the quiet, always had to interrupt. Levi huffed fondly. “Go for it.” Eren’s fingers touched lightly, starting on his cheekbones, traveling to his ear and dancing down his jaw. He lingered on his lips with a little smile that made Levi want to tackle him right then and there, before sliding up and tracing his nose to his deep-set eyes, his thumbs slid over his brow up to his hairline, where he combed through the overgrown undercut, before resting finally on his upturned cheek once more, his palm easily covering the full cheek. He giggled and Levi’s brow twitched despite the small smile on his face.   
“What’s so funny, brat?”   
“You’re so little!” He exclaimed, and his giggle turned into full-blown laughter, much to Levi’s annoyance.  
“Watch it… could still kick your ass.” Eren laughed again, though Levi had never been known for his jokes.  
“What an accomplishment, beating up the blind kid.” He teased, and Levi was about done with his shit, but couldn’t help the smile that grew across his lips. Eren could tell, from the looks of it, as his thumb traced gently over the upturned lips. “Our strongest member is kid-sized!” He snickered, and Levi had had enough. He pulled Eren’s hand from his face, despite the pout, and held it tightly in his hands between their chests.   
“Alright, that’s enough. Jackass.” Eren’s smile never really left his face, though he was trying hard to keep the pout, and failing miserably.  
“You got a plan to shut me up?” Levi’s eyes gleamed with mischief, and in one smooth motion, he had flipped Eren on his back, pinned his hands to his chest, and was straddling his hips, leaning far enough forward that his bangs ticked Eren’s forehead.  
“I can think of one way.” He murmured, the smirk dripping off his voice.

Eren’s laughs caught in his throat at the weight of the other man on top of him.  
“I-it worked…” He stuttered out, but Levi still leaned closer.  
“It hasn’t happened yet.” Voice now a whisper, and Eren wondered if he could also hear how loud his heart was beating, but if he could he didn’t seem to care. Levi stopped a moment, as their noses touched, studying the blushing man’s face, and wondered if Eren could feel his heartbeat with the way their chests were nearly touching. For once he was relieved he was blind, because the way he knew his ears were pink and his cheeks were heating up would have been humiliating. “Is this okay with you?” He whispered finally, and Eren just nodded, his surprised expression relaxing and a smile replacing it. He wiggled his hands-free (not that there was much resistance in the first place), and dragged them up Levi’s arms and shoulders, before settling them at his jaw line, stroking the sharp angle and closing his eyes. Levi’s hands planted themselves on either side of Eren’s head, as the younger man guided him the rest of the short distance until their lips met.

For a short moment its soft and sweet, and when they broke apart Levi gazes fondly as Eren breathes and smiles, and then Levi can’t help but go for another, and another, and Eren laughs into the kiss and their teeth clack together, and suddenly the kiss is deeper and more passionate, and Eren’s not laughing anymore, but one of his hands slides to Levi’s shoulder to help pick himself off the pillows and get closer, and Levi drops to his elbows, one hand tangling itself in Eren’s hair, the other holding his chin, keeping his head tilted back just so, and Eren loves it, but can’t focus on just one thing. And when they finally do break apart, after much longer this time, they’re both panting, and for a moment, Levi has to resist the urge to wipe the spit from his lips, but one look at Eren and all other thoughts are fleeting.  
And they both smile.

And they both stiffen as there’s a smash in the kitchen.

And the moment is over and they’re out of bed and rushing downstairs to check the damage.

Downstairs, Ymir stood emotionlessly over a broken bowl, as Connie and Sasha kneeled on the floor picking up the pieces. When they heard the two men rush downstairs, they looked up with unsure smiles. “Don’t worry!” Sasha insisted, as Levi stopped at the doorway to the kitchen.   
“What happened?” He asked, scowling, the euphoria of the morning already wearing off as the reality of their situation came back to them.   
“Ymir just dropped a bowl, we’ve got it covered Cap!” Cap or Captain was a nickname they had developed for him early on, Levi didn’t mind it, but he worried about the responsibility that nickname placed on him.  
“Ymir, we need you to come back to the living now.” He scolded, but knew the words weren’t reaching her. While she hadn’t made good on her promise to ruin his life or kill him in his sleep, her unresponsiveness would get someone killed if they didn’t figure out how to get her back to the living.

They didn’t have time to focus on Ymir though, because Hanji came rushing into the kitchen with tears in her eyes before Levi could say any more on the issue. “Someone’s killed my baby!” She cried, successfully drawing the attention from Ymir. “My baby! My zombie! He’s dead! Who killed him? Why? Why? He was contained, he couldn’t hurt anyone, he could only have helped!” Tears streamed down her face, and Levi scowled, too much was going on, something felt dangerous, things were going to go bad again soon, subtly, he gripped Eren’s hand and squeezed. There was a moment of confused silence before Hanji motioned for them all to follow her, which they did, Ymir forgotten.

In the shed, gathered around the cage, Hanji was right, the only way this could have happened was if it was intentionally killed. Its head had been sliced through then what looked like bludgeoned with a bat. Immediately Levi thought of Connie, but he doubted the boy was that good an actor to look as confused and disgusted as he did in the moment he laid eyes on the scattered bits of blood and brains that had been sprayed around the shed. He studied the room, then studied the people in the room, Hanji’s sobs, the various levels of disgust or confusion on the faces of the survivors. Eren tugged his shirt gently, and only then did Levi remember he needed the scene described to him. “Be glad you can’t see it Eren, it’s not a pretty sight, but it seems as though someone took it into their own hands to enact justice on Hanji’s latest research subject.” Eren frowned and gulped, but stayed quiet. Levi, reluctantly, disconnected himself from Eren and took a step towards Hanji, who, in her distress, fell to her knees at the base of the cage. He patted her shoulder gruffly. “It was easy enough to get Hanji, we can bring you back another one.” She sniffed and looked up at him with pleading eyes… or, Levi figured, eye.   
“But I was already so attached!” She warbled, and Levi couldn’t help the way his face contorted in disproval, but he said nothing. “Where’s Ymir?” Asked Sasha, who had taken over the unofficial duty of watching over the other woman.

They froze, in the confusion of Hanji’s zombie problem, they had lost sight of the loose cannon on deck, and Levi felt apprehension hit him like a truck, dread turning in his stomach until he was nauseous. “Spread out and find her, she’s a ticking time bomb the longer she’s alone.” Hanji recovered quickly from her distress, jumping into action with the others as they split into groups. Levi turned to grab Eren, but Mikasa was already dragging, despite his protests, back into the house. He tsked in annoyance, but didn’t have time to deal with them, as long as he was with Mikasa he was safe, so Levi broke into a jog looking for Ymir elsewhere, letting them handle the house.

After about fifteen minutes of searching the property, he ran into Sasha, Connie, and Hanji, who all had about the same amount of luck in their search as he did. “Well if she’s not on the property, she must be in the house, Mikasa’s probably found her already.” Connie sighed, partly in relief, partly in annoyance.  
“Lots of wasted energy for nothing.” He groaned, while Sasha worried her bottom lip, staring guiltily at the treetops.   
“I’m sorry guys, I was supposed to keep track of her… this is all my fault.” She said pitiably, Hanji chuckled lightly and patted the poor girl’s shoulder.   
“Don’t worry Sasha, Ymir’s old enough that she shouldn’t need a babysitter. She shouldn’t have been your responsibility anyway.” Sasha looked at Hanji hopefully, seemingly comforted in the moment, and Levi just really wanted to time travel back to this morning. As a group, they headed back towards the farmhouse together, but they were only about halfway there when a bloodcurdling scream echoed from the second story. 

Levi was sprinting before the scream even ended, but he knew he would never be fast enough. The others kicked into gear behind him, but they’d all be too late. Panic forced its way up his throat and lodged itself in his mind, but he would keep it shoved down until he had the time. He burst through the door, left ajar by whoever entered last.

The world shattered around him as he took in the bloody sight before him. It was like time slowed down, like he was watching it all in slow motion as Armin dragged a sobbing, bloody Eren from the closed jaws of Ymir’s mouth. Accept it wasn’t Ymir anymore, it was a grey shell of her, black eyes and skin sagging from her bones. Purple veins peeked from under her shirt collar, and crawled like spider webs down her arm. Mikasa was already behind her, the murderous gleam in her eye scared even Levi, as the hatchet swung down in a high arch against Ymir’s already rotting skull. Even as Ymir’s body went slack, the hatchet reigned down its blows until the skull was little more than a bloody pulp of pulsing brains and bone shards, and even then Mikasa didn’t stop, she kept swinging it wildly until Hanji caught her hands and Jean pulled the hatchet from her now weak grip. 

She might have been screaming, Armin was definitely sobbing, and the people around him were talking, or crying, or yelling, but none of that mattered, because Eren’s eyes were fading and he was already a deeply worrying shade of pale. Blood bubbled from his shoulder and soaked his shirt, dripping down his arm in a sticky puddle by his hand. Levi ripped his shirt off, working on autopilot he shoved the cloth onto the deepest part of the wound, holding it tightly to his shoulder, not caring about the way Eren flinched and wheezed at his roughness. Levi didn’t care about hurting him, not if it stopped the bleeding, which was already squelching through his fingers through the cloth. 

At some point, someone must have pulled him out of the way, he felt the groping hands, tugging him violently away from the bleeding boy, and Hanji took his place, but where he lost his grip on Eren’s shoulder, he grasped wildly for purchase anywhere else, desperate to keep in contact somehow, desperate to keep his promise to not leave him. Hanji was yelling orders at Armin, who’s adrenaline must have kicked in enough to jump into action, Jean was supporting Mikasa, who had fallen to her knees and was watching it all happen like she was watching the heavens fall from the sky. Levi could empathize. 

Was he still struggling against the hands holding him back? Was he still fighting violently to get as close to the dying man as possible? It seemed like he was, because the hands that had pulled him away were struggling to keep their grip on him. Was he the one yelling? Mikasa’s mouth was open, but it sounded deeper… hoarser. Was it him? Was that why his throat hurt? Did any of that matter while Eren bled out in front of him? Did anything but Eren ever matter? Did he know that Levi had come back for him? Or did he think he had left him again? Levi clung desperately to the hand he held, refusing to be pulled away, refusing to believe Eren didn’t know he was there. Eren’s hand was clammy, despite growing cooler each second Levi squeezed tightly, bone-crushingly, to ensure Eren of his presence, Eren squeezed back. Weakly, but it was there, and the world felt a little less hopeless for just a moment.

The following hours, or was it just minutes, went by in a blur, and when Levi seemed to come back to reality, he was standing against the wall of his bedroom, staring vacantly at where Mikasa sat, slouched against his bed in a fitful sleep. Eren’s shoulder wasn’t bleeding as much, Hanji must have stitched it shut, he didn’t remember, but even if the nineteen-year-old survived the blood loss, it was only a matter of hours or days before he succumbed to the infection. Levi’s stomach churned at the thought, but he fought back the bile rising in his throat, instead, taking a step closer to the sleeping pair. 

Eren’s wrists and ankles were bound loosely to the bedposts by rope, something he vaguely remembered Mikasa arguing against, but it had been necessary. He understood that. It was protocol. Still, having him chained, having him restrained like some creature, it sent shocks of guilt down his spine. Eren wouldn’t hurt them, for as long as he had known him, Eren was bound by this irrational sense of self-sacrifice, he’s sooner blow his own brains out than turn and hurt them. Levi grimaced at the thought. Maybe the ropes were a good idea after all, he’d be damned if he let Eren sacrifice even a minute of their last moments together. He sat lightly on the edge of the bed, gazing down at the peaceful, pale face of his… was Eren his anything? Did they ever get that far? They wouldn’t know, that’s for sure. Gazing down at the beautiful man below him. If he focused on just his face, just on the way the sun lit his skin and shined through his hair, he almost looked like he did this morning. If Levi pretended long enough, focused in close enough, he could almost go back, almost pretend like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, but then Eren’s breathing would hitch, or a bead of sweat would slide down his forehead, evidence of his body struggling against the infection, no doubt already coursing its way through his veins, winding around his heart and inching towards his brain until it finally catches him completely. Steals him away.

He brushed the brunette’s bangs back gently from where they hung against closed eyelids and ran his hand through his hair. Would he ever get to do this when the situation wasn’t dire? Probably not, to be honest, Levi doubted the situation would never not be dire again. How was he supposed to go back to living without Eren, when he had finally got to do it for real, when he finally got to touch the other man the way he had wanted to for months, only to have it ripped away in the span of the morning? The very same morning.

His irritation must have triggered a physical response, because just as he felt himself tug harshly against a tangle in Eren’s hair, Eren, himself, woke with a whimper. Immediately, Levi softened his tugging and withdrew his hand in guilt, but Eren only smiled. “It’s you right?” He asked quietly, not sounding nearly as weak as Levi expected him to.   
“It’s me, brat.” Eren’s smile widened.  
“What a way to wake up,” He laughed, and Levi scowled, “Was my hair that tangled?” Levi’s fingers twitched in guilt, but he tried to keep it from his voice as he responded.  
“Yeah, it was disgusting, when was the last time you washed it?” The words held no bite, and neither of them tried to think about how the tangles were probably caused by dried blood. No, Levi definitely wasn’t thinking about that. Eren giggled, but it felt more like a way to break the tense silence, than an actual show of humor.   
“I’ll be sure to brush it out later, but for now…” He reached up to bring Levi’s hand back to his hair, only to be stopped by the bindings. Understanding filled his expression, understanding but hurt. The damn kid was always so easy to read, he smiled painfully, dropping his hands back to where they laid before. “But for now… could you keep doing it?” He asked shyly, tears gleaming in his otherwise vacant eyes. Without warning, Levi resumed his soft strokes through Eren’s hair, gentler this time, his other hand knitting his own fingers between Eren’s larger ones. Eren sighed contentedly, leaning into the soft touch, pretending like his shoulder wasn’t in searing pain, and that he couldn’t feel the slight tremble in each of Levi’s caresses.

For days, Eren was surveyed closely, spent his time bound to the bed or escorted at arm’s distance around the house. For days Levi and Mikasa took turns going on runs, neither happy to leave his side, but more similar than they’d like to admit in that they don’t know what to do with themselves when their anxious and not working, which has manifested itself as absolutely smothering Eren. He didn’t mind too much, considering he was bored out of his mind bedridden, but he couldn’t help but laugh at their similarities despite their opinions of each other. The ugly purple veins had worked their way up his neck and across his chest, but other than a fever, none of the symptoms had it him yet. Hanji was studying him closely, enthralled at the lack of sickness. “It makes no sense! Yimir took only a couple of hours to change after being bitten, it’s been days!” She would exclaim over dinner, excited smile stretching worryingly across her face. “It’s completely unheard of, completely fantastic!” It made Levi uncomfortable, like she was about five minutes away from dissecting Eren, but he would say nothing, just watch her warily. 

He knew Eren was feeling smothered, but it felt like each day he spent away from him was a day wasted, and it was likely, being bound to a bed or babysat 24/7 would make anyone a bit stir crazy. So Eren would rant, he would rant about not getting a moment of peace, about being treated like a kid, or overwhelming boredom, and Levi would listen, even though it was silly, and Eren sounded like a whining child, he would listen and just study the brunettes face, as emotive as ever, as if they weren’t just counting down the minutes until he left them for real, and Levi would grimace, and be thankful Eren couldn’t see how bittersweet each of his smiles were to Levi. 

It was Mikasa’s turn to go on a run again, which meant it was a day for Levi to not know what to do with himself, other than stay by Eren’s side. Today felt different. That familiar weight settled in his stomach again, the one that told him things were about to change, and all he could think of was Eren. He brought food up to the restrained man, untying the ropes for Eren to eat whatever slop Sasha had made. It was supposed to be grits, he thinks… But people were really starting to miss Eren’s cooking. He knew too, and the bastard was using it to his advantage, and folks were about to give in. Eren took the bite of the grits and made a face. “You know…” He started, and Levi knew exactly where the conversation was going. “I could make dinner tonight.” He said slyly, but his hopeful smile showed his real excitement at the prospect, and honestly, Levi was getting worn down. While he was getting sick and tired at whatever measly, tasteless meals they were able to throw together, he also genuinely didn’t want Eren’s last days to feel like imprisonment.   
“We’ll see. For now just eat that to keep your strength up, you look pale.” Eren pouted but took another bite.  
“I feel fine, I look pale cause I’ve been tied to a bed for days on end.” He accused, and he had a point.   
“Yeah, yeah, like I said, we’ll see.”  
“I just want to take a walk, I want you to come! You can stop me if I turn, I just… I don’t know how much time I have left and I don’t want to spend it in here.” He pleaded, his voice losing the teasing tone it held earlier, expression open and hopeful. Levi took a look outside the window, it was a bright day, and the temperature was warming up again, Eren had talked about gardening again, but neither of them really thought he’d live that long. Eren liked sunny days, when the contrast was high and it was easier for him to make out shapes and shadows. He took another look at the optimistic gleam in Eren’s eye and sighed in defeat.  
“Yeah, we can get you out of here for a bit.” Eren really had him wrapped around his little finger, and he knew it too.

Levi put the half-eaten bowl to the side and gently helped Eren out of bed, he was shaky from inactivity and slight fever, but otherwise seemed fine. They didn’t bother fully dressing him, keeping him in the sweats he had worn to bed and a loose cotton shirt, but Levi did help him slip his tennis shoes on and lace them up, as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Do you want your cane?” Levi asked, reaching for the red and white collapsible cane resting atop the dresser, but Eren shook his head.   
“No, I want to hold your hand!” He smiled innocently, but Levi’s face flushed brightly, and not for the first time was he thankful Eren couldn’t see it. He was sure it was not a flattering look. Still, he took Eren’s hands in his and pulled him to his feet, taking a moment to stand on his toes for peck once they were standing chest to chest. Once Eren realized what was happening, he was happy to return it, giggling cutely and leaning down so that Levi didn’t have to stay balanced. When they parted, Eren was still all smiles and red cheeks, and Levi couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, ruffling the taller man’s hair fondly.   
“You’re an embarrassment, Yeager.” Eren simply hummed in agreement, tightening his hold on Levi’s hand.

The first time Levi had gone for a kiss after Eren was bitten, Eren had pulled away, fear and worry etched across his face looking like they never should have fit there as well as they did. Eren had begged Levi not to touch him, terrified he’d infect the other with how little they knew about the virus and how it spread. Levi had considered the possibility. He had spoken to Hanji, metaphorically of course, but she still seemed sympathetic when she told him they didn’t know enough to have anything concrete on the matter, but in the absence of knowledge, it was better safe than sorry. Levi had considered that as well. He had considered it all day on his run, and certainly through the night, and he had come to a final, very logical conclusion. Frankly, if he had to choose between not kissing Eren, or maybe becoming a zombie, he’d chose becoming a zombie. Perfectly logical. Eren had hated it when he told him, but he gave in eventually, because, however selfishly, he missed Levi’s touch as much as Levi missed his, and they only had so much time now to enjoy it now.

Levi escorted him downstairs, and they were almost out the door before an all too familiar voice called to them. “Ah-ah… Where do you think you’re going?” Eren stiffened guiltily, and Levi turned slowly to face her. She was leaned comfortably against the wall, arms crossed over her chest, eyebrow raised, waiting for an explanation.   
“We’re going for a walk.” Levi growled. He knew Hanji was a practicalist, and her intelligence and leadership skills hadn’t surprised him, in fact he had heavily relied on them many times, but now that it was him in the line of her wrath, they were far less impressive. She stepped from the wall and walked towards them slowly, expression unimpressed.   
“And that seems smart to you?” Levi straightened, stepping to meet her.  
“It seems like there’s not much risk at all at the moment.” Hanji studied Eren, who was waiting nervously behind Levi. Her expression softened.  
“Are you armed?” She asked, and Levi’s scowl deepened.  
“Of course, I don’t go out without my gun.” Her eyes flashed from Eren to him then back again.  
“And are you prepared to use your weapon on any threats that may present themselves?” Eren’s face paled, the happy flush long faded from his cheeks. The short man caught her gaze.  
“I have no idea what you might be referring to, but I won’t let anyone get hurt.” Her brows furrowed, and she dropped the pronoun game.  
“Levi, I need to know that you can kill him.” Eren’s eyes widened comically, and Levi, not the expressive man his partner was, merely sucked in a breath, and breathed it out slowly. He moved closer, dropping his voice so it was out of ear shot to Eren.  
“You said yourself, he may never turn, may be immune.”  
“I said it was a possibility we should consider given more time, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be prepared for the other option.” Her stance was firm, waiting for the man to really look her in the eyes when he answered. When he didn’t, she continued. “So I ask again Levi, if Eren turns out on this walk… Could you kill him?” A beat… Then he swallowed hard and met her gaze stubbornly.   
“Of course I can. He’d just be another zombie by then.” Hanji studied his expression closely, and if there was any doubt behind his words, it didn’t show on his face. Her features softened and she smiled.   
“All right! That’s what’s important, sorry about that Eren, but you know how careful we have to be now-a-days!” Eren swallowed thickly and nodded.  
“Y-yeah, n-no problem.” 

She watched them leave, smiling falling slowly. “Let’s just hope I’m right and it doesn’t come to that… For Levi’s sake.” She murmured under her breath.

The pair didn’t advertise their relationship, though they didn’t hide it either, if those around them cared enough, they’d ask, or figure it out on their own. Most didn’t seem to figure it out though, or care enough to comment if they did. Armin had mentioned something about it to Eren, though it was more just to confirm his suspicion, and it was more than likely that Mikasa had caught on but was too deep into her own denial to acknowledge it. Only Hanji really took an interest. It was in her nature to be curious, and Levi figured that curiosity extended to nosiness as well, not that he really minded. In fact, he preferred to talk to her more than anyone else in their little group, apart from Eren of course. While the other’s often felt like responsibilities to keep safe, Hanji felt like an equal, someone he could rely on to watch his back if he needed it. Mikasa was strong enough, but her obsession with Eren led to some potentially dangerous situations for others, Hanji on the other hand, despite her flamboyant personality, had never actually put her personal interests (however odd) over the wellbeing of the team. So end the end, however annoying, or nosy, or in this most recent case, enraging and entirely correct she was, Levi couldn’t bring him to be mad. Or he could, but not without realizing how illogical it was.

Still, as they got some distance from the farmhouse, he couldn’t help but hold Eren’s hand a little tighter. Eren didn’t seem to mind. “That conversation… I hope… I don’t plan on having to do that to you.” He forced out. He was still in the process of training himself to talk like this, to realize that Eren couldn’t read his mind, and that the poor guy was probably just as afraid of his situation as Levi was. The words felt clumsy rolling off his tongue, but once he had spit them out, Eren’s soft smile had been worth it. He squeezed Levi’s hand gently.   
“It’s okay, I know you said it because she wouldn’t let us go otherwise, but she’s right. And you’re right too. I hope that if I do end turning, whenever that happens, you do kill me. Kill me before I hurt anyone.” Eren stopped walking, tugging Levi to a halt as well, the older man turned to look, but he didn’t need to see Eren’s expression to hear the seriousness in his words.

Levi scowled, he shouldn’t have to be thinking about these things, he was an nineteen year old, he should be worrying about college GPA, not who’s going to kill him. But this was the world they lived in, and nineteen-year-old kids did have to worry about that stuff, and their twenty-four-year-old partners had to take on the responsibility of those worries.   
“If.” Levi stated quietly. Eren was taken aback, not sure if he heard correctly.  
“What?” He asked, confused to what Levi was referring to.  
“If.”  
“If what?” This was getting ridiculous.  
“If you turn! You said when, but its if. We’ve, Hanji and I, we’ve been discussing the possibility of you being immune, somehow… You have almost none of the symptoms, what usually takes hours, has taken almost a week for you, and the veins carrying the infected blood have all but stopped spreading entirely.” Eren stood shocked, and Levi faced him entirely, taking his other hand in his. “We can’t say for certain, but it looks like your body is fighting it off, the same way someone fights off the flu. It’s too soon to be certain, which is why she’s being so strict, but…” He took a breath, letting go with one hand and using it to cup the back of Eren’s neck and bring him towards him. “There’s a real possibility you’ll make it out of this alive.”

Eren’s expression crumbled.

It was decidedly not the reaction Levi had expected after he told him he could be immune to a zombie bite, but he had learned long ago Eren was full of surprises, and this definitely was one. “Eren?” His knees gave out shortly after his expression, and he fell against Levi, who, with a grunt, lowered them both to ground. “Eren, talk to me, I thought you’d be happy about this.” He held onto Eren’s shoulders tightly as the other curled into him.   
“You think I’m immune?” He whimpered, fisting Levi’s shirt tightly. Levi didn’t know what to do, anyone else would be whooping for joy, why was Eren crying?  
“Yes…” He said, unsurely. “There’s a chance.” Wrong answer, Eren cried louder. This was absurd. He rubbed the sobbing brunette’s back in confusion, but pointing his focus on comforting the man first, getting answers second.

It didn’t take too long to calm him down a bit, but it took long enough to have Levi scanning the tree line anxiously, so as not to be caught off guard. Once Eren seemed together enough to explain, Levi wanted answers. He pulled back, and gingerly steadied Eren upright with his hands clasped around his still trembling shoulders. “Care to explain?” His voice carried the scowl Eren couldn’t see, but Levi was sure it got the point across, because he nodded pitifully, and wiped stray tears from his cheeks.   
“I’m sorry, I should be happy, but… I- it’s just that…” His breathing picked up again and Levi squeezed his shoulders reassuringly.   
“C’mon Eren, it’s okay, just take a moment.” He did, deepening his breaths until they calmed again.  
“So many people died trying to protect me!” He sobbed, and it all clicked into place.  
“You had no way of knowing, and neither did they! That’s not your fault, nor are their lives your responsibility to carry.” Eren sniveled and more tears escaped, but Levi shook him gently to get his attention. “Listen to me, each of their deaths was on their terms, we all know the danger that comes with this life, and they would have done the same for anyone. There deaths aren’t your fault, and they’re not empty because you’re alive, which is all that matters now.” Eren sniveled again, but nodded miserably. Levi knew this would be something they would really have to unpack later, when they were both more at ease, and not at the mercy of whatever zombies heard Eren’s crying, but at the moment, Levi would really rather the real heart to heart wait till tonight. “C’mon, stop sniveling and up on your feet.” He stood and pulled the brunette with him. “We can unpack all of this tonight, but for now lets at least try to finish our walk, without you having another breakdown.” His tone was soft, despite the relative harshness of his words; Eren knew not to take it too personally by now. He sniffled a bit and rubbed his eyes, which were now red-rimmed and puffy, but nodded in agreement.   
“I’m sorry, Levi…” He whimpered, but Levi simply whapped him softly upside his head.  
“You’ve got nothing to apologize for brat, now’s just not the place for it.” He took Eren’s hand in his once more, squeezing it reassuringly, and urging the other forward to continue the walk along the property. 

Eren, apparently, wasn’t great at focusing on lighthearted topics. As soon as he was feeling better enough to talk, he was inquiring about Ymir, who, as far as Levi was concerned, was literally the last person on his list to talk about, but if it got Eren out of whatever pity party he was throwing for himself, Levi figured he could manage it. “You guys think it was Ymir that killed Hanji’s research subject, right?” Eyes wide with curiosity, Levi sighed.   
“Yeah, that’s the best idea we’ve got so far. She was sleeping in the same room as Connie, so it’s likely she took his bat to it in the middle of the night, and got bit in the process.” Eren shivered at the thought.   
“I wonder why…” Levi shrugged, still forgetting sometimes that Eren couldn’t see him. He elaborated.  
“She probably just blamed them all for Historia’s death. Barely differentiated between them, and when we brought one in as a pet, she really snapped. She’d been out of it for weeks by then.” It was the only conclusion Levi could think of, and it satisfied his curiosity enough to not question it much more than that. Eren nodded slowly, deep in thought. Levi let him think.  
“Do you think, even as a zombie, some part of her blamed me?” He asked quietly, but Levi never got the chance to answer, because an obscenely loud commotion was barreling its way down the dirt road to the farmhouse.


	4. Chapter 4

Levi was running, Eren tight in his grasp and keeping up, before the others were even out of the house yet. By the time the pair got from the tree line, the source of the noise was in view. Two massive, armored trucks were speeding down the winding road, plowing through any zombies unlucky enough to be drawn out by their commotion, kicking up clouds of dust behind them so thick they blocked out the road behind them. Levi stood at the front of the group that had gathered in anxious anticipation for the intruders, a protective hand thrown in front Eren. The trucks screeched to a halt in front of the group, sending the dust swirling around them so much so that they had to hold their breaths lest they wanted a lung full of sand and diesel. Some guns went off, and Levi flinched, unsure of where the bullets were aimed, but the zombies around them were dropping like flies, and no one standing behind him joined the ranks of the dead, so he figured, they weren’t the first priority at the very least.

Once the dust settled, and the shots slowed down, one of the front doors of the truck popped open, and a tall man in black military gear stepped out, armed to the teeth and face hidden. More people poured out of the two vehicles, dressed in varying degrees of protection, until a familiar blond head appeared from inside the car, followed by two more.  
There were gasps from behind him, and a very distinctive shout of anger from none other than Jean. “Erwin?” Levi asked, and he felt Eren stiffened at the name. Erwin, for his part, had the self-awareness to look ashamed, especially after scanning the group, stony blue eyes landing on Eren, alive and seemingly healthy. The first military man cut them off from whatever reunion they might have had at that moment, by leveling his gun at them.   
“Is this everyone?” He yelled.  
“Everyone here at the moment, at least.” Levi called back, not liking having a gun pointed at him on what he considered his own property.  
“How many more are there?” The man’s voice was at odds with persona, it sounded like it would fit laughing more than yelling, but the gun was intimidating enough without a thundering voice. He spoke to Levi like he was a member of his military unit, and frankly, Levi had never been fond of being shouted at.  
“Who are you?” He asked, not sure if it was a good idea to expose their exact numbers to these strangers.  
“Answer the question first!” Shouted the military man, and Levi was sure he would have been spat on had he been standing close enough. Luckily, before anything rash happened, Erwin stepped in, rushing to the military man and whispering something him. The man relaxed slightly, and they watched as he shook himself loose, signaling for all his little minions to do the same. 

Gun still in hand, he raised his arms in a show of peace, and took a hesitant step forward. “I’m sorry about that!” He said, far more jovial this time. “In this day and age you can’t be too cautious. The living we run into can be more dangerous than the dead!” Levi nodded reluctantly in agreement, but didn’t relax his stance, the hand not in front of Eren, levitated over where his gun sat on his hip, fingers twitching over the handle.   
“Who are you?” He asked again, eyeing Erwin, where he stood beside Reiner and Annie.   
“We’re from the government. We’re gathering survivors and any information we can find on the breakout. We found you old friends here about a week ago, a few towns over. They said there might be a decently sizable group in this area, so we came to pick you up.” Levi didn’t trust it.  
“Can we see some identification?” The man nodded, slowly reaching into one of his cargo pockets and withdrawing a little black wallet looking thing. “Toss it here…” Levi said, slowly lowering his hand from his gun. The man tossed it underhand in their direction, and it flopped nonthreateningly open at their feet.

To be honest, Levi had no idea what he was looking for as he studied the colorful identification card in an official-looking protective case. He showed it to Hanji, who passed it around the group, until it ended back in his hands. No one had anything to say. The idea of government help had always seemed so farfetched, honestly it wasn’t even an option Levi really let himself entertain, and now that it was standing at their front door, he didn’t really trust it. “Levi!” Erwin’s voice caught his attention, and he looked up from the card. “You can trust them. They’re legitimate.” He scoffed. There was a time her would have sworn by his life the same thing for Erwin himself.   
“Say we do trust you,” He responded, not to Erwin, but to the man in the armor. “What happens next?” The man thought a moment.   
“We’ll check you all for bites,” Eren’s hand tugged anxiously at the hem of Levi’s shirt. “And once it’s confirmed you’re all clear, we’ll pile you into the trucks. The research base and survivor center are only about an eight-hour drive from here. After that, you’ll be put to work, but taken care of.”   
“And the members of our group that aren’t here yet?”  
“We can return for them later, or wait here until they get back.”

Levi turned to his group. “Well.” He said, studying their faces. “I’ll leave it to a majority rule. Do we trust them?” They all exchanged glances, Eren reached for his hand, which Levi offered silently.   
“Shouldn’t we wait for the others for a final decision?” Jean asked, and Hanji nodded.   
“That could be a while, They’re usually out late.” Levi countered, just as food for thought, but Eren vehemently shook his head.   
“It’s fine, they said they’d wait right? Let them wait.” There were some sounds of agreement and Levi nodded, running a reassuring thumb over Eren’s knuckles.   
“So we wait.”

The military man didn’t seem thrilled at the idea, but resigned to their wills easily enough. In the meantime, Levi wanted a real conversation with Erwin. When things were more relaxed, he beckoned the three blonds towards them. Jean was practically baring his teeth like a dog, but Hanji kept a calming hand on his shoulder. Erwin studied the group, and they studied him and the others. They seemed clean and well-fed, which at least put some reliability in the self-proclaimed military’s promise. “You all survived, huh?” Levi asked, scowling at the neutral faces in front of him.   
“Cowards always escape!” Jean snarled, but Hanji shushed him, sad eyes focused on her old friend.   
“We survived, but barely, found a place to hide in a storeroom and waited the whole thing out. Did everyone?” Levi shook his head.   
“Of the people you abandoned? Only Eren.” Erwin swallowed.   
“Eren… I’m sorry. Please forgive me, I was only focused on the majority. It’s not an excuse, but I did what I thought was best.” Eren frowned, but nodded.   
“I understand.” Levi’s scowl deepened at the brunette’s words. He had thought he had a better appreciation for his own life by now.   
“Eren.” He warned, but the younger man wasn’t finished.  
“I understand why you did what you did. But I haven’t forgiven you. Good people died, and that’s on your shoulders, and they died thinking you hadn’t just abandoned them.” Erwin gulped. He hadn’t met this Eren. The Eren that had all but witnessed the gruesome deaths of some of his closest friends, and come out stronger for it.

They didn’t have to wait as long as they had expected to, as the runners got back near sunset, not after dark. In that time, the two groups merged slightly, learning each other’s names and building something akin to a rapport. “So he’s blind, eh?” The military man, who’s named they had learned was Hannes, asked, gesturing to Eren. Levi almost answered, but Eren was quicker.  
“I’m blind, not deaf, you can talk to me if you have questions!” Hanji cackled and Levi couldn’t help the proud smirk that graced his features. Hannes seemed taken aback, but laughed it off awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.   
“Ah, that’s true. Sorry about that kid, it’s just weird talking to people without making eye contact with ‘em, I guess.” Eren scoffed, making an overly dramatic movement to ‘look’ at Hannes, brows furrowed.  
“Imagine how I feel!” He insisted, and Hannes, who seemed to catch onto his rhythm easily, started laughing with Jean, who had been snickering in the background the whole time.

Hannes was an open guy, he seemed trustworthy and hadn’t done anything yet that really sent off any red flags. He was apparently not the head honcho at the base, but had taken up a leadership role while out surveying for survivors, and seemed well-liked among his men. After Eren’s little bit of snark, he had taken quite a liking to the younger, and Levi figured he could at least stand anyone who didn’t immediately write Eren off as a lost cause, as some had done. He glared at Erwin’s little trio, clearly unready to forgive them.

When the runners did come back, they did so from various angles of the tree line, spread out and highly on guard, watching their friends interact with the strange newcomers. It was Hanji who noticed them first, spotting Connie as he emerged cautiously. She smiled brightly and waved, sending him panicking as the soldiers all turned to look at him. “Connie! Don’t worry! They’re nice so far! You can all come out and say hi!” She laughed as the others revealed themselves from their respective hiding places. Levi was shocked at how far in they had gotten going unnoticed. Mikasa of course, but even Armin and Sasha had apparently upped their stealth. 

The four newcomers stood awkwardly in a row, as Hannes introduced himself and his team to them, and explained the situation. “So the other folks of your little ragtag group decided to wait for you to make their decision.” There was a moment of quiet as they looked at the other group, but Armin was scowling, the gears obviously working in his head.   
“And if one of us is bitten?” He asked, Hannes looked a bit confused.  
“Well, it certainly makes things more complicated…” He paused a moment. “I guess we’d just leave them, or kill ‘em,” Eren stiffened, and Levi rubbed his back reassuringly, but if Hannes noticed the odd behavior, he didn’t think anything of it. “But I don’t know why you’re asking about that. From the looks of it, none of you seem in poor health.” Armin’s scowl deepened.  
“And you’re going to check us all for bites before we get into the trucks, right?” Hannes still seemed confused, but he nodded slowly anyway.  
“In which case, I’m sorry, but Mikasa and I won’t be going.” His words were stern, and Mikasa nodded beside him.

Eren was up and shouting before Levi could stop him. “Don’t be stupid!” He screamed, balling his fist, and poor Hannes was completely lost. “You guys aren’t bit! You’re getting on those trucks to safety!” Mikasa rounded on him.  
“We won’t be doing that Eren. We’re not abandoning anyone.”  
“Is one of you bit?” Hannes asked, really just hoping for any explanation.   
“You should worry about yourself! Food is running out and they’re offering you a chance at normalcy again!”   
“It won’t be normal!” Mikasa cried back, and for once, Levi was actually on Mikasa’s side. He stood and took Eren’s hand, effectively grabbing his attention with it.   
“She’s right. I’m not going either.” He stated firmly, and Eren wanted to scream and kick them all until they regained their senses.   
“Are you all stupid? This is absurd, tell them you’re going with them!”  
“Others are welcome to,” Armin assured his childhood friend, and Eren almost though he was getting somewhere with the most reasonable of his friends. “But we’re staying with you!” Oh God, Armin was a lost cause too.

Hannes finally had enough. “Somebody explain the damn situation!” He yelled, and all eyes turned to him. Angry, protective eyes. Suddenly he felt like prey in a pack of wolves, and wished he hadn’t asked for the explanation at all. Eren took a step forward, and Hannes, having gathered enough, took a step back. Eren heard the leaves crunch under his retreating foot.   
“I was bit.” Eren stated calmly, and though he couldn’t see it, the rustle and clicking of countless guns being leveled at his height was a sound hard to miss. Levi’s protective presence moving closer to him just confirmed it.   
“B-but you’re completely fine!” Hannes insisted, unable to wrap his head around why everyone was so casual around a potential zombie. 

With the sun going down, the temperature had dropped considerably. Despite the chill in the air, Eren shrugged his shirt and jacket off and over his shoulder, revealing day old bandages and nasty discoloration working its way from under the white gauze. “I was bit.” There was a stunned silence, and Levi wondered briefly, how many of these soldiers had seen the effects of a zombie bite firsthand. Hannes on the other hand, gulped sorrowfully, resigned to what his own eyes confirmed for him. His expression hardened back into that of a soldier’s: carefully neutral.  
“How long ago?” Eren thought a moment about the question.  
“Almost a week now.” His eyes widened in surprise, a flash of emotion behind the soldier’s newfound stoniness.  
“How is that possible? I’ve seen people turn within the hour when they’re bit that close to the heart and brain.” It was Hanji who had an answer for him this time though, taking a step into the line of fire.  
“We don’t know for sure,” She started, her tone nothing at all like the cheerful sing-song voice she usually had, this was the practiced voice of a researcher. “I’ve been monitoring him closely, but it looks like his body is fighting off the virus on its own.” She paused for dramatic effect, and Levi couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Always with her flair for the dramatics. “It’s possible he’s the key to a vaccine.” Hannes’s tailored face dropped, and he looked between Eren and all those standing around him. He coughed quietly.   
“I- uh, I’ll have to make a call…” He seemed stunned, but it seemed like, at the very least, they weren’t going to shoot Eren.

Hannes stumbled back to the armored truck and pulled a radio from inside it, it crackled to life, but was too far away for any of them to make out any words, and Hannes spoke in a hushed voice. The most any of them could do was cross their fingers. Levi could feel Eren’s anxiety radiating off him in waves. It was bothersome, but the kid was seething. “Levi, if they decide I’m not worth the risk, I want you to go with them.” He murmured, and Levi almost laughed.  
“I thought you had more brains than that Eren.”  
“I’m serious! And I want you to take Mikasa and Armin with you! Kicking and screaming.”  
“I don’t think even I could take on Mikasa if she was kicking or screaming.” He knew his jokes were irritating the younger, but honestly, he refused to entertain this stupid selflessness with any sort of serious response. Eren should know there was no way he’d do that. He was offended at the implication.   
“Stop laughing me off! I want them, and you, to safety!” He was starting to sound whiny, if the damn kid would just shut up, maybe Levi would be able to make sure they all got to safety, but Eren was set on some self-sacrificing hero complex.  
“Who’s laughing?” It was a statement, not a question. “I said what I meant; your whining won’t change that.” Eren just gaped at him, before apparently becoming too annoyed to continue the conversation. Levi didn’t mind the quiet one bit.

Only a few moments later, Hannes came back, looking contemplative. He looked Eren up and down. “Eren, you can put your shirt back on. I’ve seen enough.” He sounded tired, and Eren blushed and squeaked and hurried to slide his clothes back on. “The higher-ups think it's worth the risk, if he really is immune. But I gotta say…” Hannes studied the blind man, almost sympathetically. “I don’t know what his life will be like once we get him back. They may just treat him like a lab rat.” Mikasa practically growled at that, but Eren was tired of feeling like a burden.   
“That’s fine! It could help people, right?” Hannes nodded, and Levi spoke for him, smirking at the way the soldier squirmed at the subtle reminder of the young man’s affliction.  
“He says yes Eren.” Levi said flatly, and Eren’s face lit up with determination.   
“Then it’s fine! I want to go!” And with that, Eren made the decision for the team, though it wasn’t a decision anyone had a real issue with, the idea of not fighting each day just to survive was sounding very appealing.

“So here’s the deal. We’ll take Eren back, but we’re going to bind him, no unnecessary risks.” It was the best deal they’d get, and it’s not like they could judge the soldiers for their caution, after all, they had basically only just allowed Eren out of bed to begin with too. They nodded and Levi watched closely as a few soldiers came towards them with pieces of cord and began binding Eren’s arms tightly to his side and hands behind his back. He winced and groaned slightly in discomfort as the ropes were pulled and adjusted to a slightly more than snug fit, but Levi knew better than to interfere.

Once that was over, they were split apart and piled into the trucks, which were more like hummers at closer look, and plenty roomy on the inside. Hannes tugged Eren with him, and when Levi followed close behind, it just took one look for the soldier not to question it. Once Eren was settled, Levi took his place next to him, keeping close contact, as others filed in beside him, pushing himself up against Eren in his attempt to keep his distance from the others and their germs. Finally, Erwin was the last to take his seat. An uneasy silence filled the car.

Eight hours was a long time to sit in car full of people you don’t quite trust, and if Levi’s hand never left its protective position on Eren’s thigh, no one blamed him. Things eased up a bit after hour two, Hannes and Eren got along well, and the conversation’s natural flow of two extroverts was enough to loosen the lips of the less closed-mouth members of the caravan. The soldiers were careful not to be too outnumbered by the strays they had picked up, but apart from their obvious discomfort around Eren (which was waning by the minute), they weren’t unfriendly. The only one who stayed truly silent was Erwin. Levi had known the man long enough to read his expressions, and he wasn’t proud of the tasteless satisfaction he got from seeing the blond man so guilt-ridden, but didn’t feel it was undeserved. Erwin’s eyes stayed focused on the floor. On the few occasions they did stray from that spot, they would wander over to Eren, usually wriggling uncomfortably against the ropes or engaging in light conversation with Hannes, until Levi would meet his sad gaze, stony grey eyes meeting blue, and he would drop back down to the floor. 

Erwin didn’t know what to make of the blind man sitting diagonally from him, chatting away happily despite the way the ropes bit into his skin, a fiery intensity in his unseeing eyes. Now, trapped in a car with four people he was sure hated him more than anyone left in this world, Eren, the handicapped boy he had abandoned, may be humanities’ last hope. The idea left a pit in his stomach and made the armored car feel all too crowded, Mikasa’s dark eyes boring into him all the while. 

In the same way that it took a few hours for conversation to get rolling, a few more was all it took for it to come to a gradual stop, with at least two more before the road trip was over. Eren squirmed, wincing against the binds, and Levi studied the ropes distastefully.   
“Can we loosen them?” He asked, voicing the question he knew Eren never would. Hannes sent the pair a regretful look and shook his head sadly.   
“’Fraid not, until the researchers at the base take a look at him, he’s gonna have to get comfortable being restrained.” Eren squirmed a bit more, but despite his pained expression, he smiled.   
“It’s fine, I understand.” Levi scowled at him, and as if the other could feel his glowering, he chuckled a bit, and nudged Levi with his shoulder. “Really Levi, it’s not an issue. I’m fine.” Levi grunted in disbelief, but adjusted his position so that Eren could lean against him more comfortably.

The remainder of the ride was spent in relative quiet, though not the tense silence it was in beginning, more so just a series of long lulls in the conversation, and when Eren dozed off, all bets were off. 

They arrived at their destination a few moments before the other vehicle, pulling to a stop at a large chain link fence, with a tall watch post by the gate. Out the window, zombies shambled aimlessly along the fence, and the watchtowers were spread every forty meters or so, each with their own armed guard at the top. The driver waited at gates as someone came down from their post, leaving their partner at the top to keep watch. They checked the driver’s ID, and greeted them friendlily, unconcerned with the undead wandering worryingly close behind them. When they were done, the gate slid open slowly, just wide enough to allow their truck through, before the guard went through the same routine with the group behind them.

Eren stirred awake as they pulled to a stop a second time, a massive, rusting factory towered above them, looking like if every safety hazard possible had been designed into one building. Levi doubted the inside was any better, but there was a low hum of life behind the heavy tin doors, and as Hannes and the other soldiers led the way into the building, he found that following them into the undoubted cesspool wasn’t as distasteful an option as losing anyone else to the creatures circling the fences.

The inside wasn’t as awful as expected, while it was still rusty, and cobwebs could be spotted in every corner, and their steps left footprints in the dirt on the floor, there had clearly been an effort to make it more accommodating. Spindling staircases had been reinforced and the places where the railings had broken off had been repaired with long wooden boards. Tables and benches were scattered around the room like a cafeteria, complete with small groups sitting at them and laughing together over bowls of hot food. They spared the newcomers a glance, some confused stares lingering on Eren, but none seemed overly concerned with their presence. “Newcomers are common here. There’s pretty much a constant turnover of people in this area.” Levi scowled. “It’s where we bring people to get a read on their skills and figure out where to place ‘em, the real community is in the back, we’ve carved a little city of sorts here, everyone has their place and works for the community.” He elaborated, laughing slightly. “It’s not permanent of course, just while the government figures everything out.” Levi had to stop himself from scoffing, but made eye contact with a few of the more cynical members of the group that shared his skepticism. “Anka here,” He gestured to a shorter woman who had been in the second car. “Will take you to your rooms and give you the rundown. I’ll take Eren to the researchers now, so we can get him situated as soon as possible.”   
“I want to go with Eren!” Mikasa insisted, but Eren’s face contorted into a scowl when he heard her.   
“Mikasa, I’ll be fine, you don’t have follow me everywhere.”  
“But I want to! It’s safer if I go with you!” Eren was about to bite back, but Hannes interrupted their little tussle with a laugh.  
“Actually, I was going to ask Hanji to accompany us.” Levi had to hold back a smirk at the way Mikasa glowered. Hanji on the other hand, looked like she had just been gifted a block of gold.   
“I get to see the research facility!?” She practically squealed, eyes shimmering with excitement. Hannes nodded.   
“I thought the researchers might want to meet you, they’re always looking for help, as you can imagine, its tough to find real scientists nowadays.” Hanji nodded excitedly and draped herself over Eren, who had gotten somewhat used to her sudden bouts of physical contact, so he only jumped a little. She had giggled and pecked his cheek.  
“You’re my ticket to knowledge buddy!” Eren truly didn’t know if her saying that scared him or not.

Levi allowed for the pair to be led off, as he followed the rest of the group, though his eyes stayed trained on Eren’s back until they turned the corner and disappeared out of sight. He couldn’t help the way his stomach churned at the memory of what happened last time he let Eren be dragged away by someone other than himself, but he shook his head as if to purge thought from his mind. 

They were led to a row of four rooms directly next to each other. Anka, the girl had been called, turned to face them with a soft smile. “These will be your rooms, you can split into pairs and distribute them as you’d like, and your old friends’ rooms are just across the way.” She pointed across the hall, where Erwin, Reiner, and Annie were standing by their own door, Annie was already unlocking hers and sliding through it without so much as a nod farewell, never one for formalities. Anka, sensing the tension between the two groups, chuckled awkwardly and continued on with her introduction. “Food periods are each morning from six to nine, and at night from six to nine. While there is food available outside of those times, it’s earned by extra work, and we ask, because food is scarce, that you don’t go overboard.” She studied their tired faces, before rushing on. “For now, you’ll be put to work in the factory, but you won’t be here long, once we’ve been able to deduce where you’d fit best! After that, you’re pretty much allowed free reign, the fence covers about fifteen acres, and you’ll learn more about job opportunities as you become more comfortable.” She took a good look at the newcomers and nodded as if in assurance. “It’s a good place we’ve got here, and you’ll meet everyone in no time… I think Eren and Hanji will be done around dinner, so you can give them the rundown when you run into them.” 

She was partly right. While Hanji came back about an hour into the meal period, Eren was not with her. “Before you all yell at me!” She announced, flopping down at the table they sat at and stealing a bite of Levi’s food casually. “Don’t yell at me, Eren’s fine.” Levi arched a brow.  
“If he’s fine… Why would we yell at you?” Hanji avoided his scowl and kicked her feet innocently.   
“Well, ya see… He’s not coming back tonight, but I’m checking on him first thing tomorrow, and he’ll be back with us soon! I promise!” Mikasa stood abruptly, slamming her hands on the table.   
“Why not?” She growled, her deadly gaze set on Hanji. Hanji, for her part, took Mikasa’s wrath in stride.   
“Until we have the test results we need to confirm he’s not a danger, he can’t be in the common area without restraints, and unless you two,” She pointed between Levi and Mikasa for emphasis. “Want him to have to walk around and sleep with his hands tied behind his back, its best if he just stays in the lab for now.” No one could argue with that, but it didn’t stop their anxieties about the situation. No visitors, she insisted later, couldn’t risk contaminating any of their research. Crock of bullshit, Levi thought, but picking fights wouldn’t do anyone any good at the moment.

True to her word at least, Hanji was up before any of the others, and had already delivered Eren breakfast before sitting down to have her own. “He slept fine last night, so you can all stop fretting, and we should have the lab results by the end of today or tomorrow.”   
“And if the lab results aren’t what we want them to be?” Armin asked, and an air of unease settled over the table. Hanji cracked her knuckles in thought.   
“Then we deal with that if it happens.” 

After breakfast, it was obvious she wanted to B-line it for the research facility, but Levi managed to catch her before she could. His face was flushed subtle pink, Hanji really only noticed it because of his bright ears against black hair, and the shit-eating grin that slid over her face was enough to already make Levi regret what he was about to ask, but the image of Eren alone in that fetal position against the wall, was enough to make him power through the embarrassment. “Tonight… I want to stay with Eren.” She blinked.  
“Levi, you know he can’t be in any of the common areas yet, that might not just change by tonight.” She offered gently, but his hard look told her he wouldn’t be taking no for an answer.  
“It’s fine if he can’t stay with us, I’ll stay with him. Just tell your research buddies I’m not asking.” Hanji studied him a moment, before sighing.  
“I’ll see what I can do, I don’t carry much weight yet, but maybe we can make some arguments in favor.” Levi nodded.  
“Figure it out…” She crossed her arms and he paused. “Please.” He added, and she smiled in what Levi was assuming was affirmation, before flipping her ponytail and sprinting back off to the research facility, while Levi prepared himself for a full day without Eren. When did the kid become such a staple in his life? This was just unreasonable.

The day went by unreasonably slowly, but each task was enough to at least occupy his mind for a while at a time. They were all tested on firearms and combat, a man wearing a lab coat, by the name of Moblit, came down and did a basic check up on them all. It felt like going to the doctor’s when you’re a kid, reflexes tested, sight tests with the spoon over one eye, the whole nine yards. It was humiliating, but in his time being looked over Moblit he was able to gain some insight into Eren’s situation. Apparently, things were looking good, they were drawing blood and running tests, but Eren was talkative and more than willing to help in any way he could. Sounded about right. If the boy thought he could fulfill his savior complex he’d let them bleed him dry, but the short ravenette tried not to assume the worst of their new allies, and he liked to assume that with Hanji in the room with them she wouldn’t let things go too far.

As dinner finally rolled around, and they had all completed the day’s tasks, they waited expectantly for Hanji before grabbing their food. At least… They tried. She was over an hour and a half late, and rushed in looking absolutely like a mad scientist, hair wild and her single eye positively gleaming behind her glasses. They were not as overjoyed, most of them having already finished their dinner despite having waited an hour to get started. “I’m sorry, I got caught up with experiments, didn’t even notice the time!” Sasha glared at her, an anger radiating off her that was only shown when food was involved. Hanjj smiled apologetically at the girl, who refused to return it.  
“Has Eren eaten yet?” Levi asked, scraping the remains from his own bowl. Hanji thought a moment.   
“Ah, well… He’s given food periodically throughout the day to keep his energy up for the experiments, but as far as dinner goes… uh, I’m not sure.” Levi sighed, and went to stand, eyeing her for a reaction on whether or not he’d have to fight his way into the lab. She waved her hand dismissively.   
“They’ve given you special access to visit.” She explained, and even Armin was a bit upset at that.   
“Just him?” He asked, frowning slightly. Hanji nodded.  
“Well I brought up that you wanted to stay in the lab with him if he couldn’t come out here, and Eren practically begged for you to be allowed to visit, so,” She gestured openly in Levi’s direction. “Voila!”

Levi would be lying if he said he didn’t feel his heart swell a bit, but he’d bite off his own tongue before he let it show. So, instead, he nodded stoically, trying to keep the smile from his lips. “Alright, well. I guess I’ll bring him some dinner, since the scientists have their heads too far up their asses to think of it.” Hanji cackled and waved him off.   
“Yeah, yeah, make all the excuses you want!” He had stormed off before she could finish, determined not to be there when she embarrassed him.

It was only after he had grabbed a plate for Eren that he realized he had no idea where the research section of the factory was, much less where Eren was within that section. He briefly considered going back to ask Hanji, but after being able to hear her telltale laugh from across the room, he decided vehemently against it, preferring rather to wander around aimlessly until he saw someone who might know. Luckily for Eren’s growling stomach, he ran into Hannes coming off a watch shift relatively soon after he left the room, and after explaining the situation, was pointed in the right direction.

Even with Hannes’ directions, it’s a miracle Levi managed to locate Eren’s room amidst all the empty storage, dead ends, and corridors leading to entirely different parts of the factory. Levi didn’t think of himself as navigationally challenged, but this factory sent his brain reeling trying to navigate the damn thing. Whoever designed it, he decided, deserved to be turned into a zombie. 

The possibility that Levi had stumbled across Eren’s quarters by pure luck was far higher than he’d like to admit, but he’d found it, so worrying about it now was pointless. He knocked lightly and waited for a response. Through the heavy metal door he could hear some movement, then the handle clicked and the door was shoved slowly outward, forcing Levi to take a step back to dodge the heavy metal slab. The culprit who had nearly knocked him out, was none other than Eren, leaning against the door panting slightly, and looking paler than usual. “Hello?” He asked, and Levi remembered Eren had no way of knowing who he had just opened his room to unless he spoke.   
“You shouldn’t open your door unless who know who’s outside it.” Levi chided, stepping past Eren and entering his room, but not missing the way the other’s face lit up at the sound of his voice. That newly familiar warmth flooded through him. 

Eren pounced him (if Levi sidestepped ever so slightly to be in line with the blind man’s trajectory, he’d never admit it), wrapping him up in a tangle of limbs, burying his nose in the black hair, and Levi could feel the warm smile against his scalp, picture it easily without needing to see it. “Hey, hey, brat, you’re going to knock your dinner out of my hand.” With that warning, Eren jumped back, and Levi almost wished he had waited a bit longer before he said anything, but either way Eren needed to eat. While he didn’t seem weak or overly exhausted, he looked pale and a bit unstable on his feet. Must’ve been from having his blood drawn. With a laugh, Eren tapped his way back to his cot with the guidance of his cane. Even though the room was relatively empty, he must not have felt confident enough yet in his new settings to walk feely as he had done at the farmhouse. Levi waited for him to sit on the bed, before gently placing the plate in one of his open hands, and the fork in the other, and taking his seat on the cot beside the eating man.

Eren wasted no time scarfing down his food. Levi didn’t know if he was watching in disgust or interest at the speed at which Eren was able to inhale the contents on the plate, but within minutes it was practically licked clean. “Jesus Christ, Hanji said they were feeding you but after witnessing that… I doubt it.” Eren laughed.  
“Don’t worry, they are feeding me, I just think some of the tests they were running were more physically demanding than I expected, and they took a couple blood samples, so I’m just craving anything right now, really.”   
“Noted, I’ll bring you a bigger plate next time.” Levi mused as Eren set the dish on the floor, and once again, without the threat of spilling dinner, draped himself over Levi, quickly turning it into a tight hug, nuzzling into the smaller man’s neck as if he was trying to burrow into him. Levi returned it, however hesitantly, leaning into the touch, sighing contentedly.

They stayed like that for a moment, just enjoying each other’s warmth as Eren slumped forward, beginning to doze off slightly, before waking himself with a jolt. He pulled back, chuckling slightly, and yawned. Levi studied him a moment. “You didn’t sleep well last night at all, did you.” He said it like he already knew the answer, and the brunette’s shoulders hunched a bit at being seen right through.  
“Uhm… No, I thought the panic attacks had stopped, but, uh, they came back last night.” Levi’s expression softened and he reached out to the hunched man, slowly coaxing his shoulders to relax.   
“It’s okay, I’ll be here tonight.” Eren’s expression shifted to one that seemed almost afraid to believe him, but the steadiness in Levi’s touch was enough to convince him there was no lie in his words.   
“They’re letting you stay?”  
“Yeah, not that they really got much say in the first place.” Eren giggled, and allowed himself to be maneuvered into a laying position, Levi stood briefly to flick off the light, before sliding off his shoes and socks, and making himself comfortable curled into the other, draping a protective arm over Eren’s stomach and letting him mindlessly fiddle with his hair. 

“You can talk to me if anything is bugging you, you know.” Eren hummed, his ministrations of his hair pausing for a moment, before resuming with the same rhythm.  
“I know.” He yawned, triggering Levi’s own, which caused him to laugh again. “Just, in the morning okay?” Levi nodded, feeling the weight of his own eyelids begin to droop. He placed a gentle kiss to the other’s jaw, before allowing sleep to overtake them both.

Their internal clocks did a good job at getting the group up with the sun despite not actually being able to see it rise and set from their quarters within the factory, so Levi was more than a bit relieved that he was already up and sliding on his shoes when a researcher barged in, no warning. He thought back to what they had been doing just a half-hour ago and shuddered at the idea of getting walked in on. It was the same man who had done his check-up, and despite the fact that they weren’t doing anything at the moment, he had the wherewithal to look embarrassed when he realized Eren wasn’t alone. “Ah! I’m sorry! I should’ve knocked.” Levi sighed, and Eren, who seemed to have already memorized Moblit’s voice, shook his head.   
“It’s fine, it’s not time for experiments just yet though, right?” Moblit was holding a manila folder with the edges of some papers poking out. He took a step in an let the door click closed behind him.  
“No, not yet. Actually, I was just looking over some of the tests we took yesterday and there seems to be good news.” The couple perked up, but let the scientist keep talking. “We took samples of your infected blood and we’ve been monitoring it. It looks like, not only have your white blood cells effectively stopped the spread of the virus, but they’re actually pushing it back. At this rate, your body will have expelled the virus within the month!” Moblit couldn’t keep the excited smile from his face and the way he bounced a bit on the balls of his feet just drilled his excitement home. “There’s still more to do and study, considering you’re blood and immune system is very unique, I’ve never seen anything like it, but it won’t be long before we can start the process of trying to develop a vaccine.” Again with the way he rocked on his feet whenever he got lost in the idea of the scientific process, still, Levi couldn’t fault the guy, he was having a rough time hiding his joy himself. Eren was going to be okay, and hell, given time, they might all be!

Though this all sounded like rather intricate research, and not that Levi was any sort of scientist, but he doubted an old factory was equipped with top-notch medical gear, even less so with the power to run it. “How are you able to do all this research? Where did you get the tools for it?” He asked, curiosity getting the best of him. Moblit thought a moment, considering his question.  
“Well, before it became a community for survivors, the factory was just designed to house the researchers and the soldiers assigned to our protection.” He paused, as if wondering if he was at liberty to explain, but then shrugged as he came to a private conclusion. “You see, the community we’ve built here, its not actually funded or supported by the government anymore, in fact, we haven’t had any contact with officials in weeks, or any of the other research stations around the nation for that matter. Hospitals and labs in big cities were some of the first places to feel the brunt of the infection, when they realized research couldn’t be conducted in populated areas they built us makeshift labs in various abandoned strongholds around the country, with the solid instructions to study and identify the virus, and create a vaccine if possible. They equipped us with food, gas, and weaponry, and installed renewable energy to power our machines.” 

Levi hummed as he listened.  
“The way Hannes talked, it sounded like this place was built by the government to save survivors.” Moblit chuckled and shook his head.  
“Afraid not. I don’t know much, but from what I’ve heard, the elites have their own little safe haven underground somewhere, and they’re just waiting everything out until us researchers find a way to fix it.”   
“Those assholes! They were just willing to let everyone die?” Eren clenched his fists, scowling at the wall. His anger towards the rich and powerful was justified, but being mad did nothing at the moment, so Levi reached out to him and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, in an effort to calm the younger man.  
“In the end, it was people like Hannes and the other soldiers that turned this place into the community it is now. Using some of the defensive reserves they expanded the fence, and they were the ones who took the initiative to find survivors. Luckily for us and our food rations, the first family they took in were a family of farmers. The rest is history.” He paused, smiling brightly at Eren, even though he knew he couldn’t see. “But now, thanks to you, we can actually help everyone in a better way than just herding them into a fence like cattle. Eren, you’re the key to everything! We could actually save humanity!” Eren’s expression wasn’t that of pure joy like Moblit’s, but set in stern determination.   
“I’ll do anything you need me to, in order to help those people!” He exclaimed, strong jaw set. Something bittersweet washed over Levi. 

With Moblit, and the other scientists’ blessing, Eren was allowed into the common area to eat and sleep, and spend time with the others while he wasn’t needed in the lab, and true to their word, after a week their little group was let out of the factory to begin as working members of the community. Most of them, lacking vocational skills but being young and in good health, were put on as soldiers, a placement Levi was comfortable with, as he couldn’t really imagine just standing around a clearing for 12 hours a day, Sasha took her place as a hunter, Armin was indoctrinated into the medical unit, and while Eren wasn’t acting as a lab rat, they had him in the kitchen, which surprised no one. There were smaller chores that everyone was expected to tend to, but as it was, life within the fence was almost mundane.

The quiet put Levi on edge. Even before all this, his life had never been quiet, it had been one struggle to the next, but now, with his off hours spent with his partner and friends, and working a job that, for the most part, held no real danger so far, it was within this safe haven, living dead just out of sight, that he felt his life was more normal than it had ever been. He didn’t really knno how to take that. His mind was always ready for shit to go up in smoke, so in order to quell his hyperactive suspicion, he focused on Eren. Not in a smothering way, he hoped (though Eren never hesitated to tell him if he was), and it wasn’t too bad, given that most his daylight hours were filled with work shifts, so the opportunities to smother were limited, but he liked to check on Eren at night. The boy was so self-sacrificing he’d let those doctors and scientists chop off an arm if they told him they needed it for the vaccine. While they had yet to do that, the days Eren spent at the lab, he came back pale and wobbly, often escorted by Hanji, with an arm thrown over her shoulder for support. She would smile apologetically at Levi as he glared, and pass Eren off to him.

The hunt for a viable vaccine was more involved than Levi expected, though he figured it made sense if he actually thought about it, either way, they had been at the safe haven for nearly three months with no real cure in sight. Eren was blaming himself, for some unknown reason Levi absolutely could not fathom. “How is it you’re fault that they can’t figure it out?” Levi sighed, comforting a deflated Eren for the fourth or fifth time that month. He was depressed after each visit to the lab now, and the exhaustion he faced from having blood drawn and tests run on him all day only made it that much worse. The young brunette was pacing back and forth in their bedroom, surely driving whoever was below them crazy.   
“Because it’s my blood!” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up for emphasis, and Levi was glad he couldn’t see the way he had just rolled his eyes, or they’d be having a very different argument.   
“Last I checked, you don’t have control over what your blood does or doesn’t do.” He sighed.  
“No, but there’s got to be something else I can do! I’m humanity's last hope, and all I can do is just sit there and hope it all works out!” His voice cracked with emotion, and Levi couldn’t help the way his heart softened a bit. That nickname was too much pressure to put on anyone, much less a blind nineteen-year-old boy. He tsked and patted his thigh loud enough for Eren to hear him.   
“Hey, just come here and relax for a second, okay?” Eren’s expression was somewhere between an indignant pout, and a scowl, but he listened anyway, dragging his feet as he made his way to flop down beside Levi on their shared bed (which was two cots they had pushed together). 

He rested his head heavily against Levi’s shoulder, and let out an exasperated sigh. “I just wish everything would go quicker; I feel like people are expecting something from me that I can’t give them!” He mumbled, and his stoic boyfriend reach up and patted his head softly.  
“They probably are,” He said, and Eren let out an annoyed groan, but was cut off before he could complain any more. “But who cares what they’re expecting, you can’t control whatever weird shit is in your immune system any more than they can, and if they’re holding that against you then fuck ‘em.” A paused. “They don’t deserve a vaccine.” He added as an afterthought. That made Eren chuckle, tilting his head to the side so that his temple was against his shoulder now, not his forehead.  
“That’s not true.” He giggled, and Levi smiled a bit at the lightened mood.  
“I think it is.” He double down, and Eren swatted him lightly, before yawning.  
“I’m hungry.”   
“The foods not going to be very good today, ‘cause you didn’t make it, but I can grab you some. I’ll be back.” Eren nodded, and lifted his head enough for Levi to stand, before he laid down entirely along their bed, closing his eyes like he was already ready for bed.  
“Hey, don’t go to sleep until you’ve washed yourself.” But his instruction was met with a noncommittal wave and some unintelligible murmurs. Levi simply rolled his eyes and left the man to his nap.

Apparently, he had forgotten to check the time before he came to get food, because the dinner rush was at its height. While usually, he would wait till the crowd had thinned to grab food, he figured Eren wouldn’t mind the extra long nap, and he really had nothing better to do, so despite the germs and the discomfort, he stepped into the crowd waiting to get their dinner, and resigned himself to being hustled and bumped around for the next twenty minutes until he could escape back to his room. While normally, people were only allowed one plate per person, it was regular practice for Levi to grab a plate for Eren on the days he spent in the lab, and due to Eren’s relationships with the other kitchen workers, they knew the days to prepare an extra dish for Levi. Though Sasha had tried to pull a stunt like that once and make off with two plates, she had practically been tackled when they realized she had no intention of delivering tha extra plate anywhere but her own stomach. After that incident, only Levi was allowed to get food for Eren. He really didn’t mind, the way he got to watch it grind Mikasa’s gears made it extra entertaining.

He was almost to the front of the line when Armin ran up to him, panting as he slid to a stop. He took a moment, hands on his knees to catch his breath before looking up at Levi. “We… made… Contact! Bad news… Eren’s already… at the lab!” Armin gasped out, and any thoughts of dinner flew from the raven’s mind, he took a careful look at Armin, debating whether or not to wait for him to catch his breath, but the blond waved him on, and he took that as permission to abandon the panting boy.

He booked it to the lab, all the winding corridors memorized now, so he had a good idea where he was heading, halfway there he ran into Mikasa, who must’ve been informed of the same news. When they burst through the doors to the research center, they saw Moblit talking to the other researchers, while Eren sat on a lab table, fingers digging into his knees, an expression of rage on his face that Levi had never seen before. Hanji stood beside him, seemingly unsure of what to say to comfort the young man. When she saw them enter the room, pure relief flooded her features.

“Oh thank god you’re here!” She cried, trotting to where they were and leading them, unnecessarily, to Eren.   
“Eren! What’s wrong? What happened?” Mikasa cupped his face and checked him for injury before rounding on the researchers, murder in her eyes. “What did you do to him?” She growled, taking a threatening step closer, but was stopped by a tug on her shirt.  
“Mikasa, stop. That’s enough.” It was Eren, annoyed and exhausted, but he tugged her back, and when she turned to face him again, her face only full of concern, all malice gone. Armin entered a few moments later, jumping into the scene easily.   
“So… Anyone care to explain?” Levi asked calmly, taking a seat next to Eren, subtly linking their fingers together, and Eren visibly relaxed. Moblit sighed and took a step forward.   
“We finally made contact with one of the other research stations. Apparently, ours is the only one thriving, but even more disturbing is the news they had to share about the origins of the virus.” All eyes stayed trained on Moblit, and he squirmed slightly under the scrutiny until Armin took over.  
“They had deduced who created the virus due to one of the other scientists’ old jobs. He apparently worked closely with a doctor named Grisha Yeager…” Mikasa stiffened, and though Eren didn’t physically react much, Levi felt his fingers twitch within his hold.   
“Yeager… Like Eren Yeager?” Eren nodded slowly, and Armin continued speaking, but Levi was already piecing things together.  
“Grisha Yeager is Eren’s father… he left when Eren was still a kid, shortly after he was blinded. He was a successful doctor, but after he left, even though we all did some research, we couldn’t find anything on him.” Mikasa’s eyes stayed focused on Eren, reading him for every reaction. “According to this researcher, he was obsessed with developing diseases and then their vaccines, and he would brag about how he had already developed the perfect tool for chemical warfare, and already tested it and the vaccine for its success…”  
“Tested it?” Armin nodded, and Levi’s stomach dropped, he looked at Eren, hunched over, glaring sightlessly at the floor. “Don’t tell me…” Armin nodded regretfully.

“The car wreck that blinded Eren also killed him… He was resuscitated by his father, who, somehow… Er, luckily, was rather unscathed.”  
“Luckily my ass… The bastard planned the whole thing!” Eren bit out, grip tightening on Levi’s hands almost painfully. Armin gulped.  
“He was his doctor throughout almost the entire healing process, and wouldn’t let people visit Eren for the first few days post-crash, even his mother.” The room was silent. “After Eren recovered fully, Grisha just vanished. The call we had with the other research facility. They said Grisha had developed a vaccine for his perfect virus… And tested it on his son.”

A heavy air hung over the room, thick with distress. Then there was a crash. Mikasa had kicked a chair, sending it colliding with the wall and clattering against the floor. “Mikasa!” Armin cried, reaching out to her to prevent any more damage. “Calm down!”  
“That bastard! I always knew, I never trusted him! He’s a weasel of a man and I always knew it!” Levi was still processing everything as Mikasa cursed, but he couldn’t blame her for her reaction. What type of man uses his son as a guinea pig?

When Mikasa looked like she was about to kick something else, Hanji rushed forward, desperate to stop the destruction of her lab. “There is a silver lining!” She insisted, Armin and the other scientists nodded in agreement. Mikasa stopped. “It means,” Hanji rushed on. “That there is a tangible vaccine, running through Eren’s veins. The person we spoke to, explained, though crudely, what we’re looking for. Before, we were just grasping for straws, searching for anything that might be out of the ordinary, but now we have something to really go off of, we have something to look for.” It didn’t sound like much to Levi, but looking around the room, the researchers, Armin included, had this determined gleam in their eye, almost like inspiration. “In short… finding out that Eren’s immunity isn’t natural, means that it can be recreated, and now that we have direction, it won’t be long now.” There was a fire in her eyes as she spoke, and Levi was inclined to share their excitement, but it would have to wait until Eren came out of whatever shock he was in. 

“You’re welcome to leave now, we just wanted to inform those closest to him.” Moblit said, and sized up the group, before frowning slightly. “I know it’s not fair, but we think it’s best if news about Grisha, and Eren’s connection to him, was kept a secret for now. People are easily swayed by fear and anger, so even though none of it is Eren’s fault, we can’t be sure people won’t lash out. It’s just best to avoid that possibility as much as possible.” They nodded in understanding, Levi hated that he was right, but he had dealt with too many stupid people and dirtbags in his life to argue against the logic.

He coaxed Eren from his seat, taking him by the wrist and leading him from the room. Stuck in his haze, Levi wasn’t sure what to say to snap him out of it, so he said nothing. The four walked back in silence most of the way, until Mikasa spoke. “Armin, why were you there to hear the message? You don’t work in the lab.” She asked, and Armin laughed humorlessly.  
“Uhm, well, I just go there sometimes after my shift out of curiosity, at first they didn’t like it, but I think they just got used to me.”  
“So just dumb luck then, huh.” Levi commented, and Armin stiffened a bit.  
“Ah, yeah… seems like it.” They bid their farewells and parted into their separate rooms. The cafeteria was still technically open, but this late in the evening it’d be entirely picked over, and he doubted Eren had much of an appetite now to begin with. Not that he could blame him. 

Instead of dinner, Levi just settled the dazed man on their bed and began undressing him, noticing that it seemed like he had washed up a bit after Levi had left. That brought a small smile to his face, and he ruffled the recently cleaned hair. He pulled the grimy work shirt over Eren’s head and didn’t bother replacing it, knowing he preferred to sleep shirtless, before moving down and undoing his shoes and socks. “You can handle your pants, right? I’m going to clean up a bit.” The factory had running water (which they were instructed not to use very much of), and most rooms had a tiny, shitty bathroom attached to them, so Levi stepped away to wash his face and brush his hair and teeth in the sink, trusting Eren to pull on his pajama pants himself.

When he returned, he was pleased to see that his trust had not been misplaced. He pulled on more comfortable clothes himself, and settled onto the bed where Eren laid atop the sheets. They lay, facing each other. Levi took in each beautiful, broken feature in his lover’s face. The way the familiar furrow between his brows was deeper today, and the arching scar tissue marred otherwise smooth, tan skin. Levi didn’t hate the scars though, and he hated that they had been caused as a side effect of Eren’s abusive father, but he didn’t think the raised lines along his cheeks and temples made him any less gorgeous, and the sightlessness of those the green eyes made them no less vibrant. Eren’s bangs hung into his eyes, and Levi brushed them back in annoyance. “Doesn’t it get annoying to have your hair in your face all the time?” He had cut his back to his signature undercut almost as soon as they had arrived here, but Eren preferred to let his grow, and it was nearing shoulder-length already. Eren shrugged.   
“I don’t mind it.” He said, barely above a whisper. Levi took talking as a good sign and kept the conversation going. All of it unbearably boring small talk that Levi absolutely hated, but Eren was answering, so he’d keep going, if only to keep him from slipping deeper into whatever dark thoughts his mind was whirling in.

It was when the small talk came to a lull, Levi running out of pointless things to mention about his day, that Eren spoke unprompted. “I have that monster’s blood in my veins…” He murmured hollowly, and it wasn’t hard to figure out the monster he was referring to wasn’t a zombie.  
“That’s hardly in your control, Eren.” But Eren just shook his head.  
“It doesn’t matter! He helped raise me, he influenced me, shaped me to become whatever I am now. Someone that evil can’t make someone good.” His voice was a whimper now, and it hurt to hear. Levi continued combing back his bangs, which would just as stubbornly slide back into their previous place.   
“Our parents don’t define us. You’re not bad because your father was.” Eren’s trembling hands came up to cover his face, but Levi caught them by the wrist and help them to his chest. “Listen to me.” He shook the other man gently, to make sure he had his attention. “Grisha Yeager might be dogshit on the sole of humanity, but Eren Yeager isn’t.” Eren’s brows grew closer together, but he nodded, and Levi took it as an invitation to continue. “You’re working to help everyone, offering dangerous amounts of your blood so that humanity has a chance. Anything your dad may have done; you are working to undo. You’re not a monster, you’re a kid who had a shit father, and now you’re paying for his shitty decisions.” Eren cracked a weak smile at that, allowing some of the tension to ease from his body, relaxing slightly more into the bed. 

Eren hummed in thought. “I can’t really process it all… I hated my dad after he left us, but… while he was there, he was good. A bit detached maybe, but good. I wanted to be just like him when I was little.” He shivered in disgust at the thought.   
“I’m glad you’re not.” Levi murmured, dropping his hand that was brushing brunette hair, down to cup his sharp jaw, gently rubbing his thumb across Eren’s cheek. Eren leaned into the touch. “Me too.” His words came out in breathy whispers, as he moved quickly, twisting his body so that he was up and sitting over Levi’s hips, long hair dangling forward. Levi grunted in surprise, always caught off guard by Eren’s sudden shifts in energy, but not complaining in this instance.

Eren smirked down at him, cheeky brat. “Where’d all this energy come from? You were exhausted an hour ago.” Eren shrugged.  
“Probably won’t get much sleep anyway tonight, might as well utilize the time.” His voice was teasing as he ground his hips down, making Levi bite back a groan. He hooked his leg around Eren’s and flipped them around with ease, taking a moment, from his vantage point on top, to admire Eren’s expression and the way his hair fanned out over the pillow. Eren wasn’t opposed to the new position though, it seemed, as he reached up and wrapped his arms around Levi’s neck, pulling the smaller man down into a deep kiss, and deepening it by the breath. They pulled apart, both panting and smiling, but Levi didn’t waste a second. He peppered sweet kisses up Eren’s jaw until his lips met his ear, which he blew on gently, relishing the shiver that went up the other’s spine. He lingered there, breathing softly against the sensitive skin.   
“When I’m done with you, you’re not going to have the energy left to stay awake and worry.”

Levi, apparently, hadn’t lied. As soon as they both collapsed into the mattress in post-coital bliss, Eren’s eyes were fluttering shut and he was trying his best to curl against Levi and pass out, Levi on the other hand, would not sleep until he had cleaned up the mess they had made. He laid a soft kiss against Eren’s forehead, before pulling himself away from the tired tangle of limbs. Eren whined and reached after him lazily. “Stop whining, I’m just grabbing a washcloth.” The younger man pouted but stopped trying to keep Levi in bed. He loved it when the clean freak would wipe him down with a cool cloth after sex, he was always gentle with his touches, despite how he would complain about making such a mess in the first place, and he never seemed to mind taking the extra time to dote on his boyfriend, even if he claimed to, Eren could read him from his touches and the subtle upturn of his lips as he would kiss each place he just wiped clean. Eren loved every minute of it, so he let Levi escape to the bathroom and waited sleepily for his return, which came only moments later.

Once they were clean to Levi’s satisfaction, he opened the sheets and helped Eren crawl under, before sliding in next to him. He didn’t complain when Eren wrapped himself around him like some sort of octopus and nestled is head onto his chest, instead, he pulled him closer and wrapped his own arm around the cuddle fiend’s shoulder, tracing small circles into the bare skin with his thumb. “Feeling better?” Eren nodded slowly, already half asleep.  
“It’ll still suck in th’ mornin’…” He murmured, his words coming out slurred with sleep. Levi chuckled and Eren basked in the way it sounded, coming from deep within his chest. “But I feel bett’r tonight.” He finished, eyes fluttering completely shut. He felt Levi kiss the top of his head.   
“Just get some rest.” He responded, and Eren didn’t have to ever see the other man’s smile to hear it on his words, and know that it was the most beautiful smile in the world.


End file.
